Find Yourself a City


h1 Posted 1 year ago mid-afternoon by oso

Each city had its own smell. That’s one way I know that the person I am today has changed from the person I was then. There was a time - let’s call it the end of last millenium - when the first thing I would notice after opening the car door was the city’s unique odor. I’m not talking about regional smells - not just the sweet sage of Southern California or the dewey dampness of the Coastal Northwest. No, I’m referring to the unique formula of industry, livestock, and sweat that makes up each village’s fragrant fingerprint. These days they all just smell like towns, they all just look like this:

mt vernon

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I was so desperate for significance at 18-years-old and so unwilling to do anything about it. I would roll into each new town - from Utah to Washington, from Washington to Alaska and back down - with a false sense of optimism fully restored after the previous day’s letdown. I was sure that something magical was awaiting me: the old man with the wisdom I sought, the beautiful girl ready to take me into her arms, the new best-friend who would understand me completely and join me on my adventures. It was just a matter of finding them and getting the conversation rolling. And almost always I would leave that city sulking in disappointment.

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My how times have changed. these days wherever I go I tend to have someone - or somethree - to meet. When some 18-year-old kid tries to strike up a conversation with me I am too rushed, too busy, too focused on the next thing I must get done.

A decade ago I had no use for newspapers or magazines or books. Any interaction that was to happen, I believed, needed to happen face-toface or it meant nothing at all. Now the first thing I do is grab the local paper.

I don’t know how so much has changed in less than a decade. I don’t know how I quote-unquote made it. All I know is that I look back at those days of aimless, anxious wandering with a slight sense of yearning. A yearning for the wonderment, the mysteries, for all that was yet to be discovered. A yearning for the days when you couldn’t google every question … you had to grapple with it.



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  1. 1elenamaryNo Gravatar from United States says:

    what does that mean “made it”? And I feel like almost a decade ago I read more, more of everything newspapers, books, stuff online, everything.

    I guess I am not feeling the “i made it” feeling and am curious as to what it is…

  2. 2cindyluNo Gravatar from United States says:

    Sigh. I get you. Just without all the traveling at 18 years old. I think my traveling was through new ideas about identity and that sort of stuff. I feel bored by that stuff now, I just take things for granted.

  3. 3SujathaNo Gravatar from United States says:

    My two cents: it’s possible that we are in the same mode - the mode of searching, looking for someone, something, etc. - but now the search engines are different, that’s all. It doesn’t mean that the search we are on now is any less meaningless. It just means that technology has put its stamp on that aspect of our lives as well. Whereas, earlier, we had to physically move from one place to another to find out objective, we don’t have to do that any more. Just another side effect of globalization, if you will.

    And that’s my Sunday morning wisdom. I should be fine by tomorrow when I will wonder what the hell I went on about yesterday. :)

  4. 4Dr. CerealNo Gravatar from United States says:

    I’m with you, David. I remember school vacation breaks spent on the road in search of culture, adventure, experience or other vague things I was sure would transform me into the kind of interesting and witty adult I was destined to become. I would usually come back underwhelmed and disappointed. Maybe disappointment and underwhelmedness are the seeds of wit. Or cynicism. It’s hard to tell the difference sometimes.



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