Posted 4 years, 5 months ago around lunchtime by oso
I have to admit, of the 7 theories of human nature in the last post, Sartre’s is, hands down, the one closest aligned to my own. Probably – and ironically – because it fits so well with my ‘innate’ character. It’s extremely easy for me to rationalize my emotions. If I wake up some sweetly rainy morning filled with melancholy and nostalgia, I can say to myself either, “yeah, I sorta like this, I’m gonna go with it.” Or, “fuck this, time to be happy and get shit done.” There is a sense – illusory or not – that I’m the one in charge here. If I want to be angry, angry I’ll be, but if I’d rather be happy and peaceful, well that’s up to me too.
I have a hunch – though Sartre would probably disagree – that it’s much more difficult for others to change their emotional state just by rationalizing it. (Then again, some dude is a multi-millionaire for writing a book that says nothing more than “all problems are small problems.”)
Here’s what those OED elist bastards think of the word purpose.
purpose |ˈpərpəs| |ˌpərpəs| |ˌpəːpəs|
noun
the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.
Pretty intense. So your purpose is, I guess, the whole reason you’re here sucking up all this oxygen, reading these little letters, going home after work. That’s not a fun thing to think about – no wonder we let it go after we’re 28.
It seems to me though, that purpose is really just another biological need. It’s like sex: we don’t have to have sex in life, but we’re probably a lot more psychologically healthy when we do. Same with love and companionship. We don’t have to be loved or have good friends but when we do, we feel much better. And the same is true with purpose. It’s not a requirement in the game of life, but when we do have a sense of purpose – even if it’s illusory – we feel much better about ourselves, we’re psychologically more fulfilled.
A sense of purpose can be expressed in a bunch of different ways. It can be becoming rich. Or seeking “truth.” Or knowledge. It can be expressed in furthering peace and equality. Or helping individuals from your same “tribe” whether that be an ethnic group or regional group or nationality or class. Or making art or music. For some, it’s saving an endagered species, for others it’s winning an olympic event. The point is to have one, I guess, and to not be ashamed of saying, yeah, I’m really passionate about this.
But, of course, you can also go overboard. I know a lot of people who are miserable because they’ve thrown all their chips into their purpose and sacrificed their equally important need to be loved and have friends. It’s a tough balance and it’s always had a play in all of my relationships. Two people trying to maintain a healthy sense of love and a healthy sense of individual purpose is no easy thing.
Just as dangerous is when your loved ones become your purpose. I see that happen to mothers all the time. They convince themselves that their children are their only purpose in life and it ends up just filling their kids with guilt and themselves with misery once their children are off to college.
Or teenagers, still not sure what they want to do with their lives, convince themselves that their first love is also their life purpose. Which is why those first broken hearts are the hardest to mend.
And purpose also gets confused with identity. Let’s say your purpose in life is to climb mountains. And so you start spending all your time climbing mountains, reading about climbing mountains, wearing mountain climbing clothes, hanging out with mountain climbing people in mountain climbing places. You’re shutting yourself off to an entire world of wonderful things and people who do not climb mountains. (not to mention all that money spent on fancy Patagonia jackets).
Coming back from New York, I’m glad I realized my purpose. But that’s only one part of my life. It’s not who I am and it certainly doesn’t dictate who I spend my time with. It does somehow make me more relaxed though. Those last specks of teenage angst have finally been washed away.
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Did you have an Avenue Q moment there? I still haven’t made it to the decisive moment of knowing what my purpose in life is… then again, I’m no Sartre and although I’d love to, I’m no Simone de Beauvoir either.
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Where do you differentiate a goal from a purpose? Isn’t winning the Olymics a goal? The way I see it, a goal is a marker in life – something that you work toward and if you are lucky, achieve. On the other hand a purpose is an overarching framework with which everything you do happens. Is your purpose in life to be the best? If so, winning an Olympics isn’t going to be enough. I don’t think a purpose can be attained, its more of a definition.
At the same time, arguing the difference between having the goal of saving the whales and making your life’s purpose protecting the environment seems to be arguing for argument’s sake; either way you would probably help Rocky and Bullwinkle before watching your neighbor’s kid.
What is your purpose? I’m interested to find out.
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I’m glad you found your purpose senor.
However, I’m conflicted by the idea that purpose is a biological need. I’m in no way ready to relegate my essence, what I define as purpose, to something that encounters a tangible world. I’d like to think that there is a place we acknowledge, governed by things beyond any tangible existence: powers beyond the atmospheric, social, cultural influences we encounter every day. For example, I take the word’s of the eccentric Capote, that “In Cold Blood” was the book he was always intended to write. Essentially implying that it was his purpose. Was he governed by fame and fortune? Or was it an experience that escaped all physical dimensions, allowing him to recognize a purpose only revealed to him? I personally believe he was a shrewd man, involved with his own jaded perception of fame; but thats another blog waiting to happen.
As a mexican-american, my family urges me to approach a professional life; while I feel my purpose is to embrace Art, destroy it, innovate it, and become intimate with it, beyond all physical realms. If buddha can do it, I can do it!
In this case, is purpose some revelation we encounter in the physical world, or metaphysical realm of Donne?
I’ll be honest Monsieur David, I’ve found my purpose as well, but am struggling to realize it. The only physical constraints regarding my purpose, is the fact that I don’t have the plata to start what I feel is the catalyst that will bring all purpose in my world together: a magazine that will change all magazines!
In the end, the idea is Renaissance: OED”4. rebirth, renewal, resurgence”. I could never just be a mountain climber. I’d have to be a mountain climber/burrito eater/photographer/Indie-rock addict/writer/cabron..all in that order please…completely reinventing myself: what i’ll define as [r]enaissance; and my purpose
ciao amigo
© Citoyen du Monde Inc. 2006™
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“It’s extremely easy for me to rationalize my emotions.” Esto se dice, pero esta capacidad es contra natura, el hombre es un bicho emocional, Oso tiene que entregar el corazon y dejarse embolver por el dolor de la emocion, dolor es un proceso necesario…
Oso soy muy malo para esto, estamos planeando ir con Claudia para SD en estos dias, me contacto antes y tomamos un indie cafe.
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i’d like to hear more about your realized purpose for your life. though i fear that if i did, i might feel a bit miniscule in comparison as my own purpose is rather mild.
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i left this comment on purpose.
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Medea,
I once read that Sartre and de Beauvoir would often stay up until the next morning exploring the possibilities of their existence. I, on the other hand, usually fall asleep half way through a rented movie. So I share (and celebrate) your relative lack of purposefulness.
Greg,
These are some good points. I think this might be a new line of consulting work for you on Ether – blog deconstruction. We’re getting into a bit of a semantics issue here. Goal, purpose, essence, objective, raison d’être. These are difficult concepts to define … and too differentiate. Something I don’t like about the word purpose is that it sounds like it’s imposed by some external force. You know, “God put me here on earth to …”
So yes, I co-opt your proposal that purpose is a framework, a guiding philosophy to help you come up with long-term and short-term goals. Sort of a personal long view.
Alejandro,
Wow, you’ve already got one subscriber. I have just one question though: who/what was it that revealed to Capote his purpose?
Diego,
Claro. No digo que me permito sentir la tristeza y alegría de la vida. Pero sí destaco que si quieres ser una persona contenta, tienes que elegir esta mentalidad. La felicidad no es un regalo de dios, es una perspectiva. Avisame cuando vienen che para que coordinemos lo del indie cafe.
Myke,
It’s to show you what a proper taco tastes like.
Moreno,
If I had an hour long commute on the subway, I could come up with comments as clever as yours.
Finally,
a smart person emails me:
Yes, I have gone through this too. Plenty of times. And what I usually end up realizing is that something in my life is out of balance. In other words, there’s a reason why I’m depressed and when I set out to do something about it, I start feeling much better.
I’m not saying that brain chemistry doesn’t affect our emotions. Anyone who has taken psychedelic drugs knows that it does. In fact, a new study published in the New England Journal of Medicine says that antidepressants are more effective than psychotherapy in treating elderly depressed patients. But I do think (and I’m getting into a whole other post here) that a lot of peolple are sad, discontent, or apathetic because they are afraid of the alternative: that, in the end, they are the ones responsible for how they feel and what they do.
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Oso,
That’s actually a very critical question that can be directly correlated to this idea of purpose. Now that I think about it a little more, when was Capote’s purpose confirmed? To be a writer would be his purpose correct? Unless fame and fortune were the ideal goal and writing his means, then maybe purpose becomes tangible after all.
Oh I turn the other cheek at the thought of seducing my thoughts now. But to answer your question tio, I believe I’m not sure as to “who or what” exactly revealed his purpose. The only thing i’m certain is that he was aware, leaving recognition and consciousness the only weapons we have to deal with the divine.
See it as a spiritual divinity, cosmic divinity, or the awakening we experience on a cold sandy beach, beyond the midnight hour with a bottle of Coppola’s Cab. In a case like that, it might have been Capote’s alcoholism that revealed his purpose. And with that logical conclusion, I should reach for the bottle soon.
Anyway tio, tu pregunta me deja pensando. Aver si tengo una mejor respuesta en unos dias. Salud y fuerza tio.
© Citoyen du Monde Inc. 2006™
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Purpose, love, friendship – I’ll always be searching… it’s great fun.
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purpose. it can be so elusive. but it’s nice to hear you have found yours. so what is it? i thought it was traveling and leading this super chill life. are you going to share? ’cause you know we all wanna know.
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Man, if this is your purpose, then I think you’re underachieving.