Posted 2 years, 8 months ago mid-afternoon by oso
Let’s take a brief, purposeless break from New York City. This is our dear friend from Panama, Melissa:
I will say nothing more about the picture other than to quote the filthy, lewd, and entirely inappropriate language of the blogger who came up with the t-shirt she is wearing:
SO, TELL ME: ARE THE SHIRTS TRULY MAGICAL?
You have no idea! The women’s shirts make small tits look big and big tits look bigger. Or smaller! I can’t explain it, all I can do is use myself as an example. See my tits in the picture up top? They don’t look all that big, right? Now take a look at this.
They look huge. And they’re the same tits! Which is also the title of a poem by James Tate.
Now, distracting as the left side of the picture may be, I want you to concentrate on the right. That’s Tio Juancho. Not Melissa’s tio, none other than the great-uncle of Kelly and Ruben. None other than the same man that Ruben wrote a magnificent poetic ode to here, translated by Kelly and Ruben’s mom, Marianne into Spanish, and reposted on Melisssa’s blog.
Ruben, for those who don’t know is a friend of Cindylu. He can also be seen here with HP who obviously got all dressed up to impress him:
Finally, Ruben breaks down for us what has got to be the most blog-savvy, binational family to ever exist.
Innit it always a trip when you’re surfing around the blogosphere and you’re skimming down some random blog when you come across a comment by a blog buddy? It’s like, whoa, fancy bumping into you over here.
I’m getting that more and more often these days. It never ceases to amaze me … all those connections that already exist between us without us ever knowing it. Nuyorqueño Liza sums it up well on Trinidadian Georgia’s weblog:
And WTF is El Oso doing here?!?! David, you’re like everywhere!
The connections, they exist, just waiting to be discovered.
One of my favorite moments last week took place in Hollywood where a bunch of old high school friends got together to watch Moreno put on a surprise show for his lady friend’s bday. Poor guy forgot his guitar strap, totally wrecking his swaying-back-and-forth, hair-in-the-eyes, indie rocker persona.
But that wasn’t what made me smile. It’s when old compadre de prepa and former, fellow blogger, Paul Farag strided in with his own lady friend. We hadn’t seen him for a long stretch so there was a choir of, “hey, it’s Paul Farag.” That prompted yet another lady friend (whose first name translates to ‘beauty’ and whose middle name could well be ‘but not so bright’) to say excitedly, “oh my god, I love the nicknames you guys give each other!”
“No, that’s Paul Farag, that’s his name.”
OK, so that’s not funny to you. I guess you had to be there. Even my blog stories end with, I guess you had to be there. How ’bout this …
HP, Sparsh, and I are eating Vietnamese food down the street from HP’s pad. This place has about 100 different items on the menu and Sparsh, the “vegetarian” fish and chicken eater is clearly overwhelmed. Our friendly waiter comes to the table and HP and I lay down the law (more evidence that HP is not really Mexican: he drinks Pepsi instead of Coke). Sparsh just doesn’t know what to do though and keeps thumbing through the menu as our young waiter awkwardly hovers over us. HP, of course, has to open his big mouth.
“Sorry, he still doesn’t really speak English yet.” Sparsh smiles. Then HP looks at Sparsh and says, “hubba do toaba gota muina fina ughakd ad dakadaka.” Absolute non-sensical bullshit pulled out of his ass. I start cracking up and our poor waiter has no idea what the hell is going on or why a mexican is speaking to an injun in tongues while a crazy cracker is busting up laughing.
Of course, at some point during the dinner HP defends his hero, Augusto Pinochet. Probably says something like, “Pinochet was responsible for Chile’s success today.” Or maybe it was, “Only Alberto Gonzalez is a greater advocate for the use of torture.”
The thing is - though I hate to admit it - Pinochet’s iron hand in the 80’s probably did contribute to the country’s economic, political, and social well-being of today. Or as Larry Rohter put it in his Letter From Chile in today’s New York Times:
the sociologist Eugenio Tironi maintained that modernization [in Chile] arrived in three waves. First came an economic opening in the 1980’s under the dictatorship of Gen. Augusto Pinochet, then a political modernization in the 1990’s after the return of democracy and civilian rule. “Recent years,” Mr. Tironi argues, have initiated “the phase of cultural liberalization” and a new moral climate.” Taken as a whole, he concludes, “Chile seems to be evolving toward a liberal model of society of the North American type,” marked by greater individualism, an erosian of the traditional family structure and greater social tolerance.
There is an intense chicken and egg debate amongst development scholars over whether economic modernization leads to the strengthening of democratic institutions or vise-versa. It’s often brought up in free trade arguments. One side says that low (or no) import and export tarriffs will strengthen not only binational politics, but also domestic institutions which must safeguard the transactions. Another side says that the country does not yet have the proper institutions (ie. Mexico’s judicial nightmare) in place and that free trade would only exacerbate corruption and a small business elite.
The Marxist notion that economic progress will necessitate social reform is a nice one, but looking around me right now - you know, America 2006 years after the hippie guy was born (or is it died?) - I’m not gonna put my bottom dollar on it. If cultural liberalization equates to five hours a day watching “reality” TV, we’ve still got some liberalizing to do.
Hey, you forgot my favorite part of the dinner, remember how I used statistical discrimination in accurately predicting that Sparsh tended towards the more vegeterian meals?
Speaking of Kelly and Ruben, if all goes well, I should be visiting them and their family in early April, the first weekend after I come back from Mexico. It should be really fun, I hope they don’t all beat up on me though, I don’t know how much evil neocon they can tolerate.
Oh yeah, and btw, Coke in Mexico is definitely not the same as Coke in the United States. The two are very different, I don’t know what it is, probably the recycling of the bottles or something, but it’s very noticable taste difference. So in the States it’s Pepsi, in Mexico coke.
What’s your statistical discriminatory explanation of why you talk so much? I’ve never met a Mexican man in my life who can fit in so many words in a single dinner.
I’ve got $5 on Kelly beating you up.
In Mexican coke they use cane sugar (easily available in Vera Cruz), in the U.S. they use corn syrup (by subsidized corn farmers). Pepsi uses corn syrup in both countries.
Hi Oso -
I am starting to wonder if I should be embarrassed to see my family popping up on all of these blogs.!!! btw - my mom is not Juancho’s daughter. Tio Juancho is my dad’s uncle and my great uncle. I am sure that Tio Juancho would say that my mom is like a daughter to him though!
As for HP and the visit - let’s hope that politics DON’T come up. He will be surrounded by lots of LIBERALS. He may not come back in one piece. If you want to put money on someone taking him down your best odds would be on either my brother Nebur or even better yet, my Mom, Kjerringa. She’s is one tough cookie!
David, how did you find all that naughty stuff in the fussy web? Wow, you are definitely a pro, …can you believe I purchased 2 t-shirts without even reading about the breast enhancer attributes? —No comments please
HP: I’ve got another $5 on Kelly beating you up too.
Hugs to both of you!
Okay, I’ve gotten some IM’s on the Pinochet comment so I feel obligated to clear that up. For the record, I am a defender of Pinochet’s economic policies, not his dictatorship. Just as liberals can be fond of Che Guevara’s political philosophy without supporting the murders he was responsible for, including but not limited to, “gays, dissidents, and AIDS victims“, so can conservatives be supporters of Pinochets economic policies without supporting his dictatorship and all the murders involved there in (a number, btw, very comparible to Che, see here).
And the fact that Chile has become the strongest economy in Latin America, especially when you compare it to what Che did to Cuba, becomes an even stronger reason to separate the economic good Pinochet was responsible for from the very bad dictatorship he was also responsible for.
PS: As far as Kelly goes, no way will she beat me up, she is my bud, she has already tiped me on what conversations I should not bring up. So plan for the trip is 1. Talk only about the Dodgers, the Chargers, and whatever other sports and 2. beat everyone else at throwing horse shoes, or whatever the name of that game that they play up there is.
Kelley,
No way - you’ve got a family of inkernet celebrities. You’re like the Brady Bunch 2.0. If you have a conversation with HP and politics aren’t brought up, I promise, I’ll buy you a roundtrip ticket anywhere you want to go. Sorry about lineage mistakes - I’ll fix them now. Words like cousin, niece, uncle, and father-in-law are sure to confuse me.
Melissa,
Gracias por ser buena onda. Penseé que me ibas a regañar. Why’s HP get a hug too?
HP,
Are you sure your words weren’t “he was the greatest supporter of torture since my boy Alberto Gonzalez”? That’s what I seem to remember. We’ll have to ask Sparky for some clarification.
AIDS didn’t even exist while Che Guevara was alive. You so silly honey bunny.
Oh politics will probably come up, but while I am there I am limiting it to my more libertarian side, you know, pro-immigration, pro-drug legalization, and maybe even my pro-life side a bit, just to spice it up a lil.
As for Che, no AIDS was not but the camp he founded certainly survived long enough to be.
Btw, while were comparing people, I thought I’d bring your attention to my favorite comparison in one of the links I linked to above, at the end of his post, the well known Johan Norberg writes:
Now that’s a much more apt comparison than comparing Pinochet to my boy Alberto Gonzales.
I can’t stop laughing….. this is too funny. By the way, I actually saw Pinochet once when i was a kid in Santiago. I also went to school in Chile and learned all about his wonderful economic policies. Somewhere, deep in the abyss that is known as my mother’s filing cabinet, is a third-grade report i wrote on the great hero of chile, El Gran Augusto. I also learned how to dance the Queca in the third grade, the same dance (imortalized by Sting) that the mothers of the desaparesidos danced in protest, a picture of their beloved safety pinned to their mourning dresses.
Now that I am all grown up, I can tell you that the man is a puto. His economic policy was to steal gazillions from the pueblo. He wasn’t a good dictator like Torrijos was in Panama. To quote my uncle, “Sure, Torrijos stole from you, but we had sidewalks and our kids went to college. Who cares if he takes a dime as long as he leaves you 90 cents?”
Hey Nebur, atleast you didn’t get to live under Che’s reign huh? Imagine how bad that would have been?
Oh, were going to have such a fun time in April.
How about them Dodgers? Hugs!!!
Who do I have to mate with to become a part of this incestuous blog circle?
If Kelly doesn’t beat him up, I will.
I have my money on lil’ Sabi (Kelly’s cute daughter) beating up HP.
HP: Not horseshoes, you silly rabbit, BOCCE BALL! Since you are so good at investigating things on the internet, go research the game online before you get here!!!!
I remember your report on Pinochet, Ruben - you came home all excited because you learned that the General had just presided over the signing of the 8th and “improved” national constitution. I think that reports is stored with another one you wrote that year on La guerra del pacíficio - a picture of a boat on open sea and your explanation that Chile had no choice but to declare war against Peru and Bolivia because they were cheats, liers, treaty breakers and territory thieves. So much for the impartiality of a private school education HP!
By the way, HP, you haven´t heard us singing praises of dictators, whether they be in Cuba or elsewhere. You have inspired me though, to plan a future post on Pinochet. I´ll just mention that I saw one of your probable buddies, old Henry Kissinger, in real time, interviewed in Chile, 1980 or 81. When Chilean reporters asked him what the U.S. involvement had been in the golpe de estado and assasination of Allende, his response was “we only know what we saw on T.V.” So much for the veracity of a conservative.
Seriously though, So Cal bloggers, you might find a new and enlightened HP when he returns south.
damn dude whyd you have to post that pic. ridiculous. thanks for coming tho. am i the only one who has completely stopped reading anything HP writes? theres just not enough time for me to get that upset these days, i got boat payments. writing good be the awesomest revenge.
by the way, check out wiki’s article of the day (3.8.06). wikipedia, youre the good things.
To all members of Blogitlan: The Northern Cali Penning Posse, (also known as Brady Bunch 2.0) invites all to come north for a weekend in April, to witness the baptism by fire of Big Pun(dit). Help us with this intervention. We plan on celebrating his political rebirth with food and libations. It will we BBB IV, (BBQ, Bocce and Brew).
We can call it a blogero retreat. we can sharpen our skills. Relax from the harsh realities of blogging life. Let the pads of our fingers heal in soothing eucalyptus baths. I’m not kidding. I think this would be fun. And if Cindylu comes, I can find out once and for all if the reason she blogs so much is because she has one of those annoyning high pitched voices like Michell’e. I have plenty of bedrooms and even more food, so let us make this happen.
Oh, and Jennifer: me.
Hey, everyone knows I will be up there in April now, so if I suddenly disappear, I know my beloved group of online bloggers, including Oso and everybody else, will send a search party looking for their favorite conservative blogger!!! You have been warned!!!
Okay now I’m nervous.
Thanks for making me spit out my pop (soda for West Coast)… HP is hilarious.
BTW, I just happened to post on the Coca-cola thing. Take care XOXOXOXO
HP,
That’s like blaming Thomas Jefferson for Abu Ghraib.
Meanwhile, there’s this thing called del.icio.us. The idea is you get an account and link to things you think others might be interested in. That way you wouldn’t have to fill your own blog (or this one) with link after link.
But, since I’m feeling so charitable today, I offer you information about the Haymarket Riot.
Jen,
I’m pretty sure that would be me.
Cindylu,
What I heard is that Sabi is the one taking the bets. She’s a smart kid.
Kelly,
I can guarantee you that he’s going to call bocce ball a “blue state, elitist, limousine liberal” game.
Nebur,
I hope we get to meet one day. (Cindylu’s voice is a bit squeaky, but not as squeaky as HP’s). Becoming a benevolent dictator has always been one of my own career aspirations … would appreciate any advice you could offer.
Would this blogger retreat involve therapeutic psychoanalysis of HP’s unstable relationship with his mother which has, in turn, led to hyper-reactionary conservativism that is itself a subconscious manifestation of his need to find a nurturing, liberal, family-like community of friends?
Cause yeah, I’d be totally down for that.
kjerringa mot strommen,
I need to find something else to call you because, if I’m not mistaken, “kjerringa” by itself means “old woman.” The full name is ingenius though. I’m glad to have you in my RSS reader now. Do you adopt?
Moreno,
I take a look at it when I can’t sleep. Always does the trick. You should get on his friend’s list on Flickr though - there’s some real entertainment.
As far as Kerala goes, that also slipped into our conversation over Pho as well. HP: “I bet Sparsh is from that same place where Moreno’s peeps are from, you know, with all the communists.”
Julissa,
All of the burrito shacks near my house sell bootlegged Mexican coca-cola. Market price is around $2 a bottle. The paisas drink it more out of nostalgia I think than the taste of sugar. The white people drink it as a fashion statement.
That is not a proper comparison, remember, Che personally helped create the forced labor camps that resulted in those deaths. This without even mentioning the prison he also helped to create where he personally ordered the execution of thousands of Cubans and performed some of them himself.
I have no problem with those who remain consistent and despise all dictators regardless of political leanings, but I find it hard to stomach those who praise Che on the one hand and condemn Pinochet on the other. Yeah, they were both evil scandalous killing machines and will both probably end up in hell, but if you’re going to value one aside from his evil killings, than Pinochet should definitely be your pick.
The comparisons are too strong to ignore. To put it in simple terms, Che gave Latin America its poorest country; Pinochet gave Latin America its richest country. And even the citizens of Chile agree, while the citizens of Cuba are risking life and limb day after day trying to come to the United States in search of a better future, the citizens of Chile are voting between right-wing and extreme right wing.
The economist writes:
Sure, the New York Times calls Michelle Bachelet a ’socialist’ and her party is considered ‘centre-left ‘ but don’t let the name fool you, in Chile there is an overall broad consensus on many of Pinochets economic reforms from ALL political parties. For example, all political parties support free trade, hard money (ie. low inflation), including Bachelet with her support for the Free Trade Agreement of the Americas. Even issues like social security privatization are significantly ahead of where they are in the U.S. Nobody in Chile, for example, is talking about taking away private pensions, instead they are trying to figure out how to cover people who did not have to make mandatory contributions due to the fact that they were self-employed, issues like that.
So if all of the above makes Michelle Bachelet a socialist, what does that make members of the Democratic Party here in the United States where 93% of Democrats voted against the tiny CAFTA bill, communists? In the United States Michelle Bachelet would clearly be on the right side of the political spectrum.
So again, if you hate all dictators, fine, I respect that point of view and tend to share it myself. But please don’t come to me wearing your pro-Che paraphernalia and than get offended when I say Pinochet is largely responsible for why Chile is the strongest economy in Latin America. And as for ‘poor Allende’, read this.
Oh yeah, that article you linked to, I read it and just have one thing to say: too bad Chicago didn’t have the inventor of the 8-hour work day and weekday work schedule, the fire breathing union hating Henry Ford. From the article you linked to, it seems that unions were causing havoc on economies long before the 20th century, not surprised!!!
Nebur,
My voice is not squeaky, but Oso can tell you that I mumble. When is this retreat happening? If I can make someone else pay for my travel expenses, I’d be down. HP really doesn’t know much about baseball. During a Padres/Brewers game that was tied 1-1 all the way into the bottom of the 9th, he asked me, “Does this mean they’re going to go into overtime?”
Oso,
I’d also be down for that psychoanalytic blogger retreat. I think you and I know just how many issues HP has… it goes way beyond him being conservative.
Poor HP. We should leave him alone or he’ll keep displacing his frustration to Cuba.
Pho’s on me next time little man.
HP, when are you coming? Let’s posse up in the Mo’. Cindy said she would come if you pay her travel expenses. I checked with Greyhound, and the one way from Hacienda Heights to the Mo’ is $47. I’m down to sell some platanos to see if we can raise the lana for the ticket.
As for Don Che, I was a devote, if you will, prior to my trip to Cuba. Now I am not sure. But ask yourself this: What evidence is there that he profited from his brief tenure as a government official? Could it be argued that his pecados were those of a guerillero? Did he not die in armed struggle? Are there swiss bank accounts or villas that speak to the contrary? Did he leave a legacy of oligarchs that profited on his government service? But what do I know? I am a simple emu farmer from Modesto. Economis and numbers confuse my simple brain
HP - I wonder if Pres. Bachelet would concur that her imprisonment and her father’s government sponsored murder (During Pinochet’s watch) along with the murder of thousands of others were justifiable “casualties”.
Oso - How right you are - Kjerringa comes from a Norwegian folk song compiled by Andre Bjerke. Crone is probably a better translation and and the full title is Crone swimming against the current. You can read my inadequate English translation in Nebur’s blog 7/13/05 (MsABC Mom’s birthday, by the way). I’m certainly open to adopt someone with such an apparent love for languages and analyzing HP’s Freudian motivations. I’m not down, however, if you haven’t finished grad school. I love my children, but am looking forward to my liberation from the Tuition Paying Mom’s Club.
Crone! That’s even less flattering:
Well, I guess some people would consider the thin part to be a compliment.
Not to worry - I would never go to grad school. It would take away from my blogging. I’m still thinking of nicknames. How ’bout “La Comeconservadores”?
I guess I’m out then… (wink wink)
Hey, I am getting jealous, all of this love going around and I am not part of it. You know what, screw it, I give up, to hell with Pinochet, to hell with Neocons, go Kerry, and Bush is the evilest person alive. There, now can I please get some hugs? I want to be called a crone too!!!
Oh shit, gotta go, someones coming…I see dead people!!!
Hey Oso,
Here is a site with self proclaimed “funny and offensive t-shirts”..enjoy.
http://phatrags.com/
in case you need anymore tshirt links. . –> T-shirt Hell.
Jen,
If you would have picked up your phone in BCN …
HP,
Señor, no tenga celos. I’m sure Nebur’s mom will adopt you as well. I’ve even thought of adopting you myself. You know, to fulfill that white, paternalistic limousine liberal label you’re always trying to stick on me. Also, I might need your help tomorrow morning so keep your cell phone on.
Yolanda and cad,
As tempting as a t-shirt which reads, “who wants a mustache ride” is, the point is not what they say, but how they enhance your breasts.
Who? what Where… still hipnotized.
[...] There’s a rumor going around that I have a squeaky voice. This is not true. I stopped sounding like a six year old in 2000. It’s been a really busy quarter and I know I haven’t been writing as much as I usually do. As usual, I have a lot to say/write and I’ll be taking advantage of more dynamic ways to communicate with blogotitlán. [...]
Tired excuse. You are just afraid of physical activity…aimless urban walking, that is…
Esto es lo que yo llamo una discusion super activa
Abrazos!
M
I have small tits. Is this a serious problem in my sexuality?
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