Posted 4 years, 6 months ago in the early morning by moreno
I’m currently reading Dostoevsky’s Brother’s Karamazov. Its super sexy. I think Fyodor’s better than Shakespeare. During the last 2 months that i’ve been reading this book there have been 2 occasions where I have been sitting either next to or across from someone on the subway who was also reading a Dostoevsky novel. The other day I was actually sitting right next to someone reading The Idiot . These are only the people that i’ve happened to notice what theyre reading; you figure there must be so many more whom i haven’t seen or noticed. Its amazing to see how many people are still reading this man’s work, almost 200 years after he died. What is it about this guy? I have no idea. I aint no book critic. all I know is me likey me Dostoevsky. “Oh Fyodor you are the most attractive man I know, your Russian heart is strong and has been bleeding for too long oh oh oh oh!”
I could just leave you with this last paragraph as a “post” but i know it wouldnt answer the nagging question everyone reading this is asking: Who the hell is this guy?? Why, I’m El Moreno, of course. I don’t know how to use Flickr like Oso and I’m not currently selling my soul at $30,000 a year like Abogado, but I can do one thing: boogie.
Well its been a long long time since my last post and most of your have probably forgotten how funny I am…unfortunately this post will not remind you. I’m dead serious now, people. Dead. DEAD.
okay so lets see, whats in the news? Well apparently WWIII is now being planned over a very serious diplomatic issue: a cartoon. Thats right, Muslims in Muslimland care about what Danes in Danishland print in their newspapers. Ok so the Muhammad cartoons were offensive, but come on, is it really worth rioting and burning down embassies for? maybe. Hey, you gotta burn down something, right? And what have been the official reaction from governments?? why , theyre (gasp) using it as a political tool! weird. Now theyre going to start printing Holocaust cartoons because theyve finally realized what most of us have known all along: the Holocaust is hilarious. Seriously tho, can a Holocaust cartoon be any less funny than the other political cartoons we have? what about regular cartoons, I mean Garfield hasn’t been funny since 1991. And Dagwood?? forget about it. But despite all this you dont see me burning down my local Barnes and Noble…yet.
So the best way to retaliate against a Danish paper printing a highly offensive cartoon about Muhammed is by printing a highly offensive cartoon about the Holocaust. I get it. Man those Jewish Danes must be furious! That’ll learn ‘em…that’ll learn ‘em indeed. Keep in mind that the first global war was triggered by the assasination of a man named Franz Ferdinand…I suppose if the world was eager to go to war over the death of the man who wrote such profound lyrics as “do ya do ya do ya want to, well do ya do ya do ya want to go?” I shouldnt be surprised that its happening again over an unfunny cartoon. Seriously tho, isnt this just another reason for Iran to direct its missiles at Israel?? Poor Israel. I mean, come on, what has Israel ever done to the Muslim world??….oh right…that.
Whats the matter, dear reader? can’t handle the new and improved Moreno? Thats right, i’m commenting on Israel and Islam. Too real for you? well then youd better turn your computers off cause thats just the kind of guy I am this week.
Well enough of the trifling matters, lets get to the real news today: Sly Stone made an appearance at the Grammys! The guy is 60 years old and hes sporting a mohawk that would make Tim Armstrong jealous! (look it up, its funny).
Not that I watched the Grammys myself, why its far too lowbrow for me. However, I do read the gossip columns. I find myself unable to watch these awards shows these days. Im not sure, theres just something about watching a bunch of guys in suits jacking each other off that rubs me the wrong way. Call me crazy.
So to summarize: Israel and Islam need to read more Dostoevsky, Sly Stone needs to make more public appearances and remind people that Prince and Funkadelic really aren’t that original, and watching industry execs jack each other off should not be labeled as entertainment…yet. And most importantly: Sly Stone and El Moreno are back!
So to close with one of my favorite passages from Brothers Karamazov:
Two Roads diverge in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way led onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence;
Two roads diverge in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Fyodor you’ve done it again!
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30k for my soul? I’m only getting 15 for the soul, the other 15 is to be an advocate for His Greatness on this here weblog and to infiltrate the Danish cartoon industry. 1 down, 1 to go!
Dude, Fyodor’s estate would totally have a claim against this Frost character but my guess is the copyright expired on that shit a few years ago.
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I almost died reading “Crime and Punishment”. It felt like a punishment. Of course that was like 20 years ago, so perhaps if I pick it up again, I will find it more enjoyable at my current riper age. Last Russian-authored novel I read was “Anna Karenina” and I enjoyed it, so perhaps there’s hope.
My low-brow self watched the Grammys last night. I like to see what the performances will be and see who will and will not seem like an ingrate when they win heh. My vote for best performance – Bruce Springsteen. =)
Should I be boycotting danishes now? I love danish havarti too. What to do, what to do? =P
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I just had a cheese danish. It was sooooo good.
Can’t wait to burn one down with you soon.
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PS – when I first read it, I thought you wrote “And most importantly: Sly Stone and El Moreno are black!”
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Read your interview on LeahPeah. You = smart, sexy and uber-cool! A guy who features classic novels on his website–you make my little English major heart go thumpa, thumpa. Alas, you were born too late, but I can dream can’t I?
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Moreno steals my thunder …
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A mohawk? I thought it was a dead bird.
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Brother’s Karamazov… good book. Though the quotation that you put up is actually a poem by Robert Frost.
http://www.bartleby.com/119/1.html
If you’re going to quote, check the originals.
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Hahahahahahahaha. Man, this place is so much better when you just step back and watch.
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Taran? come on, man, give me some credit. Yes i know that The Road Less Traveled was not written by Dostoevsky,,,its joke. funny, funny? man i can only wonder what some of you people must think of me. ok so just to clarify, i’m not an anti-semite, i dont hate muslims, im not going to firebomb my nearest barnes and noble for carrying unfunny Garfield cartoons, and I know the difference between Frost and Dostoevsky. How in God’s name would i think that poem is in a book that i’m currently reading?? the best part is that you gave the Bartleby link…I like you, Taran, you make me laugh. I think I just might keep you.
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Well I think you all need some lessons in mod. litcheritchure. Every snapper knows “The Rose is a Rose is a Rose Less Ravelled” was reely ritten by John Shade, the nom de proust of Pierre Menard, author of the Quixote, not to mensch’un The Man Who Was Furseday, The Man Without Kwalities, and The Old Man and the C Minor. The clew is in the deathless pen-pen-penultimate lines of the (pennyeach) pome: “Marie, Marie, hold on tite / to the bragging tenor moo-cow.” (O Absalom! This is all your faulkner that it doesn’t rime. Get thee to a punnery. And ev’ybody knows that in a riddle to which the answer is “hedgehog” the one word that may not appear is “woolf”.)
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wow. nicholas that might be the greatest thing ive ever read. you got my vote.
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Nothing to be done. [He offers the remains of the carrot to Josef K.] Like to finish it?
Yores,
El desdichado, l’inconsole
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[...] Otra idiosincrasia tÃpica de Americanos es como nos encanta la ironÃa. Se define como “la expresión de un significado utilizando lenguaje que normalmente significa el opuesto” y para mis amigos y yo no hay nada mejor. Me reà tanto cuando leà el comentario de Taran deciendole a Moreno que Dostoyevsky no escribió la poema The Road Less Traveled. Moreno respondió: ¿Taran? Vamos hombre, dame un poquito de respeto. Ya sé que The Road Less Traveled no fue escrito por Dostoevsky … es un chiste. ¿Jaja? N’ombre, me pregunto como me ven. Bueno, para aclarar, no odio a los judÃos, no odio a los musulmanes, y no voy a atacar la librerÃa mas cercana porque venden caricaturas que no me hacen reÃr. [...]
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Yeah….personally, I don’t see why the cartoons have to spark ‘that kind of reaction’.
I mean it’s a cartoon right?
Even though I may not agree with their whole Islam philosophy……that would be like someone making fun of my Christ. I don’t think it helps to make fun of other people’s gods at a ‘time like this’, particularly in this post 911 era we currently live in.
Hmmmm. I wonder if we can get away with making fun of Zeus. je je!
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Your Christ, DD? Unless I’m mistaken, He is our Christ. quit trying to hog him. oh and you can expect my hilarious Christ Cartoons coming soon. curious? heres some keywords: corndogs, dental fillings, flash floods, and the Amish. boy this is gonna be good.
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*DD falls off her chair.
*gasp*
Dude! I had you pegged as an atheist! Oh my gawd! Dude….for real? You believe in Jesus Christ? Whoaa! I wub you now!
And ummm…..on the keyword search……I’m sort of afraid now, Moreno. Because you are giving the ‘keywords’ to me…..so now I am…ummmm. Scurred. je je!
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I want DD to rub me too.
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Ay yi yi, Oso!
I said ‘wub’…..as in love. Ay yi yi Dios mio. je je!
Besides………I don’t believe in Genie’s.
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i dont know much about literature but John Shade is the fictional character who penned the poem that Vladimir Nabokov’s Pale Fire is a commentary of. i dont know if that other stuff Nicholas said is true, but if it is…
Speaking of Russian writers that are actually good, go read Nabbykov.
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who here suspects that DD doesnt know enough about Islam philosophy to say she doesnt agree with it?
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That I can guarantee.
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Rajeev, I said the “WHOLE” Islam philosophy. Keyword is “whole”.
Ok? Are we good now?
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What can you guarantee, Abogado?
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i was the shadow of the waxwing slain
by the false azure in the windowpane;
i was the smudge of ashen fluff- and i
lived on, flew on, in the reflected sky.