Posted 2 years, 11 months ago mid-morning by moreno
Look what I got in my email box today. I knew today was going to be a good day:
” ROYAL FOUNDATION INC.
INTERNATIONAL PROMOTION/PRIZE AWARD DEPT
Ref no: sasl/43353214/05
Batch no: 10/2015/5j05
Winning Notification.
We are please to inform you that the result of Royal Foundation Inc.,
sweep-stake international program held on the 6th of september 2005 in
conjunction with the Germany local organizing committee (LOC) for
successfully organizing to host the FIFA 2006 soccer world cup have
been
released. Your name with email address attached to ticket number
155-88569-788 with serial number 1967/05 drew the lucky numbers
3-8-11-26-31, which consequently won the lottery in the 2nd category.
You
have therefore been approved for a lump sum payment of
$2,500,000.00(Two
Million And Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars Only) in cash
credited to file ref no: sasl/43353214/05.this is from a total cash
prize of
$32,500,000.00 (Thirty Two Million Five Hundred Thousand United States
Dollars Only) shared among the (13) thirteen international surprise
winners
in this category.
Congratulations!!!
To begin your claim, please contact:
white pinfeld
(FIDUCIAL AGENT)
e-mail:whitepinfeld55@yahoo.co.uk
TEL NO:447031916587
Kindly send your telephone/fax number so that you will be sent the
processing form, all winning money must be claim not later than 25th of
november 2005.
Congratulations for being a part of our promotions program.
Sincerely,
Mrs. mikekerry
For lottery promoters
Thats right, Dear Reader, yours truly has just won the Lottery, to the tune of 32.5 Million Dollars!!! Its been a long time coming, but I knew a change would come. The funny thing is I don’t even remember purchasing a lottery ticket; in fact since turning 18 I have made it a point to never purchase lottery tickets because they were a waste of time and money. Isn’t that ironic? Here I was the biggest critic of the lottery system, and now I am sailing into early retirement after winning a random lottery via email! God Bless the Internet!
Naturally, I will most likely not be posting on this blog as often as I will be busy resting on sunny beaches with cocktails in both hands. I have appreciated all of your participation in my entries here on this blog, and I wish you well. Who knows, maybe some day you too will receive that lucky email in your “Bulk Email” folder, incorrectly filtered by your Spam Guard, and you can join me in the Bahamas. I wish you luck in continuing your rat race lives and hopefully when you are reflecting on your servitude to the time-clock you will fondly remember your Moreno, and how I too was once a cog in the machine going nowhere.
I have already informed my work, I didn’t give them 2 weeks notice…why would I?? For a Reference for my next job??? HA!! My next job will consist of me paying poor locals to mow my 30 acre lawn! I told my boss and coworkers what I really think of them…boy did I give it to them. I burned that bridge to the ground! And why shouldn’t I?! I JUST WON THE LOTTERY!! THEY CAN ALL GO TO HELL!!
So like I said, I wish you all well. Please don’t email me asking me to share my winnings with you. I earned this money fair and square. Please don’t ask me to give you money for an operation for your dear dying mother…I got a mother too and her servants aren’t going to pay themselves! I got responsibilities now, I make the calls. Who knows, maybe after years of growing bored with my millions I might try to run for political office, just so i can continue pulling the strings! Man I can’t wait to get started. Sayonara, suckers!!
DEAR SIR,
MY NAME IS DOCTOR NATANIEL BUTAWARI AND I HAVE RECENTLY BEEN PLACED IN A POSITION OF INTERESTING. MY FATHER WORKS FOR THE NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT AND HAS GONE INTO HIDE FROM RESTLESS MOBS. HE OWNS APPROXIMATELY $10 MILLION U.S.D. IN THE NIGERIAN NATIONAL BANK, HOWEVER THE BANK WILL NOT RELEASE THE FUNDS TO ME WITHOUT AN AMERICAN CO-SIGNER AND A 10% ADVANCE. I WOULD LIKE TO OFFER YOU THIS: PROVIDE THE 10% ADVANCE OF SUM $1 MILLION U.S.D. AND THE BANK WILL RELEASE SUM $7 MILLION U.S.D. TO YOU AND $3 MILLION SUM U.S.D. TO MY BUTAWARI FAMILY. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WILL BE ABLE TO HELP ME IN THIS SITUATION.
REGARDING,
DR. NATANIEL BUTAWARI
Too bad moreno I also won so I guess we have to split the feria!
Remember: mo’ money mo’ problems.
hilarious buddy. i hope you enjoy the bahamas.
If you vote for me all of your wildest dreams will come true - Moreno
great picture josh. youve really matured into your face. im proud of you. still with the hand on the head though. old habits die hard.
You are so lucky!!!
thanks Rajeev. I wish I could return the compliment but you just got really freaky looking.