Posted 2 years, 11 months ago mid-morning by oso
There’s something phenomenal about the morning-after-a-night-out bowel movement. As in, it’s really a phenomenon. The process itself is so thoroughly unenjoyable. But then, afterwards, you feel so fine, so refreshed, so awoken from the dead. It’s almost a rite of moral purification, washing away the sleazy commentary, excessive consumption, and double-visioned dirty dancing of the night before.
How bummed would you guys be if one of your parents got a Flickr account and put up all your embarrassing pictures from when you were a kid? I present you with la mamá del abogado, who also happens to be a lawyer. Just like his dad. And his brother. And … well, you get the idea. I even got a special shoutout because of my controversial history with that lovable, huggable endless devotee, the sheep.
Rather than jotting down all my notes from my Reporting Across Cultures class, I’ve made a separate page that will sorta act as a wiki for anyone interested. As you can see, we’re almost done with out second week of class and I haven’t even finished all the work for the first week. So typical.
California has been treating Booger and I very well these first couple days. We left San Diego on Tuesday around noon, made the mandatory mocha stop at the Leucadia Pannikin, and then rolled directly to UCLA where Cindylu was beyond kind and showed us all around the school. If there were ever Trivial Pursuit, UCLA-version, she’d be absolutely unbeatable. I realized how less I know about UCSD than she does about her school.
After the official tour, it was homework for both of us at a wi-fi sandwich place in Santa Monica called Panera where - literally - every single customer (including us) was either on their cell phone or laptop. Remember when those little things didn’t exist? Then I met up with the Santa Monica crew for a margarita while Boogs read a short story out of McSweeney’s. (I was somehow able to diplomatically avoid a serious ass-beating by Moreno’s girl)
Next morning and the amazing play list continues as we drive along the coast from Santa Monica to Malibu and then through Malibu Canyon to the 101. We are starved. Our stomachs are speaking. We wait for Dorothy’s Chuck Wagon Cafe in Camarillo. We are so smart, me and boogs. Then it’s a straight shot to Santa Barbara, sister sleeping, and me rocking out to Yo La Tengo (shh, don’t tell EMC).
At UC Santa Barbara, agile former ballerinas that we are, we were able to skip, saunter, and somersault around the beach cruising bicyclists who were set on knocking us over. Amateurs. Then it was to to the admissions office where we looked through the catalog and I told poor little sister that she must decide her entire future in the next 15 minutes. Not really, but I think that’s how she was feeling when we left the campus. Poor child. I keep waiting for her to turn around and say, “dude, like when are you going to decide what you’re doing with your life. But lucky me, she’s either too respectful or not clever enough to have said that yet.
Finally, another half hour of amazing playlist as sister sleeps (teenagers are so good at sleeping) and we rolled into San Luis Obispo. Obispo means bishop. But I don’t think you call bishops on a chess board obispos. Can someone clarify this? Time to buy shampoo, time to look at the campus. Time to go to Big Sur, go to the Henry Miller library, tell my sis he was a dirty old man, grab an over-priced double espresso at Cafe Kevah, and hopefully make it all the way up to Saint Cross. A cyber-bear-hug to all.
let’s talk more...
if i was able to take you to berkeley i could pull the cindylu, but i definitely won’t be able to do that at usc. berkeley rules, make sure you eat at top dog, have a crepe at crepes a go go, and look for jimi hendrix’s face on the wall by sather gate. just ask a stoned student, she will point it out for you.
um, paneras is a huge chain out here in the midweat and east coast…you guys just getting it on the west coast?
Good lord, I forgot how adorable I was.
Pop into Kevah for a look at the view, but you gotta go to Big Sur Bakery for food and drinks. They are bizomb.
You hope it doesn’t fall into the sea, eh?
Hmmm.
It’s probably to believe that it will fall into the ocean.
Quick get out! Hurry! ahaha! Just playin’. I for one would not live in Califas. I’m scurred and here’s why:
http://quake.wr.usgs.gov/recenteqs/latest.htm
You hope it doesn’t fall into the sea, eh?
Hmmm.
It’s probable to believe that it will fall into the ocean.
Quick get out! Hurry! ahaha! Just playin’. I for one would not live in Califas. I’m scurred and here’s why:
http://quake.wr.usgs.gov/recenteqs/latest.htm
oh damn, you can see bakersfield on that map
DD,
Cali won’t be falling into any ocean. The worst that can happen is that in thousands of years, because of plate tectonics and the northewestern movement of the Pacific plate and the Southeastern movement of the North American plate, eventually LA and San Francisco will be right next to each other (I think… I’m trying to remember this from a class I took 5 years ago on earthquakes). I think that’s great, because there is just way too much California between the two regions. If earthquakes scare away people, then that’s cool with me, since we’re already over populated anyway.
Oso,
It was nice to see you and meet Booger. She’s gonna win a Nobel Prize in Amazing someday and you’ll still be blogging and working on your “Pitching outside the strikezone” series. I think by then you’ll be on part XXVIc… or something like that. It’ll look like a Super Bowl number.
Glad you liked the tour. Personally, I thought it sucked. It’s easier when you know what people are interested in, and want to see.
lol at Gustavo……….
Cindy:
Ok……keep believing that, but until then, there are no guarantees, just a bunch of theories on when it’s going to happen. I encourage positive thinking, however, personally, I would not want to live near fault lines and volcanos.
I’m scurred. ppr(
Greetings from Monterey. Which is spelt with one r. Please remember that when you go tagging your flickr photos because I’m damned tired of aquarium photos in my Monterrey, Mexico flickr stream.
Bobbo,
Crepes a go-go will definitely happen. (I will, as I always do, ask for “hella nutella”) I’m expecting a premium tour of USC.
EM,
I knew not that Paneras is a chain. I was so bummed that I ordered the cream of chicken rice instead of the cuban bean soup. I like the little buzzing pagers they give you. So easily amused.
Abo,
But at least your sense of fashion hasn’t changed.
Chris,
You are so right. I don’t know what I was thinking. The last time I rolled through Big Sur we had bfast at Big Sur Bakery and it was incredible. The whole experience. Really cool staff too. We had to rush to get to Andrew Molera Park before sunset though so we missed out today. How much did I pay for my single cap at Kevah? $4. A mocha was $5.
DD,
Just outta curiosity, are you smoking a blunt in your gravatar? Cause that’s how we used to do it in the bay … and if y’all roll blunts like that in Kansas I’ll be mighty impressed. I heard there’s some webcam where we get to watch you work. Can we get a link?
Gustavo,
I’m still hurt that you didn’t show up at Cindylu’s hermano.
Cindylu,
LA would be so much sweeter if it was next to Frisco. And your tour was honestly perfect. For someone who is only interested in being amazing, I don’t know how it could’ve possibly been any better. She still calls you the nice person in the pretty shirt.
Cindylu’s hermano?? Did he have a party too? Mala cindy ya could’ve invited this poor fellow.
What are you going to do with your life? JK
Yes. I have a webcam at my coffee shop. My web developer is talking me into one that rotates and I’m considered that. Hit me up on yahoo messenger, my ID is ddblase and I will give you a tour of the place via cam.
Who told you I had a cam? 
I have never smoked a blunt……that is a fine cigar given to me by my cigar friend who owns a cigar store……..I plan to sell ‘coffee cigars’ in the spring and I plan to buy my cigars through him. One time, I went clubbin’ with a good friend, and I was thoroughly enjoying my ‘Java’ Cigar when some girl told me I smoke my cigars like a blunt.
Does that count? aha! 
woh man where the hell do yo uthink youre going, paradise? its called humboldt county. seriously tho, stay the fuck away from that place if you value you and your family’s sanity and safety. sleeping and driving is the best
so you´re here mañana, no???
Bishop in Spanish is Alfil and it means elephant in Arabic. You know how the Moors ran those Spaniards for 500 years before they came down to run us for 500 years? Well I guess the elephant while not used to conquer Europe was used by Arabs, in other places, as a war-making instrument. Chess is about war, right??? I guess the name Bishop, in English chess, comes from all of those war hungry priests during the Middle Ages. Maybe we should start thinking about renaming the pieces with modern names. What would those be???
Dear Sir,
Thank you for linking my blog entry to your site. It is extremely flattering. I hope your sister enjoys her UC experience, wherever it takes place.
Yours,
Starr
Os, it’s not that I don’t like Yo La Tengo. In fact, I do like them, they’re just not spectacular, to me. I have an entire music post on this matter that I have been working on for like three weeks. I still think you’re cool…you just need to listen to more Sparklehorse.
ayyy weyyyy, todos en ingles……….. menos yo…………. que te lo pongo en aspañol o español =P.
Ya te vi de morrillo… cuero miiiiiiiiiiiil jajajajja………. no se crea david…
“I’m damned tired of aquarium photos in my Monterrey, Mexico flickr stream”
A poco tenemos acuario en monterrey? o es una chiquito que tenias en tu casa? o se me hace que entendi todo mal. jajaja
Saludos Oso, cuidate…. te mandaremos tu camisa de mtyblogs cuando las tengamos. o si kieres venir por ella, como gustes.
Para completarte los 20.
Gustavo,
What about my little brother? He didn’t have a party, but his band did play their final gig that night.
[...] I visited the UCLA School of Dentistry today. As you would expect the experience was a bit harrowing, and I didn’t even have any work done. When it comes to South Campus I’m automatically lost. I asked a cute dental student how to get to the Student Affairs office and he walked me down the stairs. If there was a Trivial Pursuit about UCLA and we had to identify buildings on a map, I’d so lose when it came to the Health Sciences building and all of South Campus. It’s a good thing I didn’t show Oso that part of campus, or I would have lost my credibility as a tour guide. I found a good friend and former staff member from MEChA Calmecac, M, working as an information officer in the officer. She gave me two manila envelopes full of testimonials from dental students talking about how the astronomical fee hikes have personally affected them. [...]