Kyrgyzstan?? That’s obviously made up. You can’t have a country without a proper vowel, fools. No matter what Richard Feynman says … anyway, once again the people are taking over and revolting in the street, and once again its not happening in America. silly former soviets!

anyway, im at work looking for an excuse to steal from my company and get paid for work i am not doing. its called democracy. anyway, lets see whats in the news from the only country that matters since it will soon contain 75% of the world’s population: India. Or as I like to call it, Pakistan Adjacent..

HYDERABAD, India (Reuters) – Tax defaulters in southern India are being forced to face the music after city authorities hired drummers to play non-stop outside their homes until they pay up.

“They don’t stop until people agree to clear the dues.”

Government of India, allow me to introduce to you Mick Fleetwood. Mick Fleetwood, Government of India. Tusk!

Some undercover “journalist” busted a Bollywood actor named Shakti Kapoor (Shakti??! That’s a girls name!) She got dressed up all sexy and paid a visit to his hotel room where he offered her assistance in her movie career in exchange for sex. what he didn’t know was that the camera was rolling; it was probably hidden in her turban. he got busted and now all of Bollywood is coming out saying that theres no “casting couch” in Bollywood and that Kapoor’s behavior is an exception. Right, I believe that. Shame on you Bollywood. Why can’t you be more like Hollywood? Thats just despicable. Sex has no place in your sexually suggestive dance numbers.

I wish someone would give me a goddamn feeding tube. Instead I got to eat with my hands like some filthy ape. Did we lose a war or something?! Ridiculous.

Well there’s your news update. Hope it provided a few minutes break from the monotony that is your life. Don’t worry, you’ll be dead soon.

Sincerely,
Moreno