Did you see the Oscars???! Me neither. Or is it “either”? Speaking of ether, Hunter S. Thompson died. he was talking on the phone with his wife and instead of saying “bye” he put the phone down on the table and let his wife hear the “clickety-click” as he pulled the trigger and catapulted the bullet thru his head. his wife and son came home and found him dead in his chair in front of his typewriter. they called some friends over and had some drinks while sitting around Hunter’s body telling stories about him. he requested his ashes be shot out of a cannon. good ol’ Hunter.

Yes i know I’m not up on the latest news and i apologize to all of my dear readers who rely on my blog postings for their news. anyway, first things first. Excuses: i’ve been really busy lately, too busy to blog. sorry. my computers still dead. im writing this at work. i swear. someone buy me a new motherboard so i can get back to posting semi-annually.

So this last weekend i went to L.A. to celebrate my girl’s birthday. she just turned 44. happy birthday sweetie! we went and saw Zach Galifianakis perform at the Melrose Improv. for those of you who dont know who he is, stop living in a cave. hes the next Johnny Carson….in that he is no longer on television. he was on that awesome show on Fox called Tru Calling. it was hilarious. luckily it was cancelled. anyway, we talked and hung out with zach a bit after the show and he was surprisingly pleasant, not what i was expecting from a comedian. he wished my girl a happy birthday and talked about what he was doing with his career. and man was he funny. he’s always on! he made some jokes about how black people drive like this and white people drive like that. classic.

I flew from long beach airport back to JFK and went straight to Penn Station where i caught the Amtrak maple leaf express to Albany. i went there for work with my boss’s boss and two residents from another building. boy was that a trip. one thing i learned is that everyone is insane…especially the insane ones. i had my own hotel room which was classy. i came very close to throwing my whiskey glass thru the tv and then throwing the tv out the window. (un)fortunately the window wouldnt open all the way. i had a beautiful view of the snow falling on Albany, tho. these old historical buildings, some built in the 1700s, covered in snow. made me want to do some lines and run for president. i was in Albany for the Association of Community Living conference. these people were nuts. there was a woman walking around with a full on trimmed goatee. she was nice. one of the residents i went with was named David. David was unlike any resident i work with. he’s a 50 year old white Jewish male with no hair on top of his head. he talks with a thick new york accent. he makes these word/event associations and makes a point to tell you about it:

“let me tell you, Hari, on December 17th 1995 at 7:14 p.m., a policeman was shot while off duty in New Jersey. He was at a Chinese restuarant eating his favorite food: pepper steak. At exactly 7:14 p.m. I was sitting in my apartment eating my favorite chinese food dish: pepper steak. I tell you, Hari, I was very disturbed by this. I have all these coincedences, i tell you i dont know whats going on!”

Needless to say, I enjoyed David’s company.

“Hari, let me tell you. You’re from California. You ever been to San Francisco?”

“Of course, David”

“Ok, Hari, tell me what’s the most famous song about San Francisco? I left me heart in San Francisco. And Who sang that song? Tony Bennett. In 2001 I met my girlfriend, a woman I love very much she’s a great girl. What’s her name? Paddy Bennett. Paddy Bennett, Tony Bennett. You see? I tell you Hari I dont know what’s happening to me, I dont know what to do.”

Poor David. he sure loved Paddy, though. She came up in almost every story. her family wouldn’t allow her to see him anymore. David wouldn’t explain why. But he would explain how he had 4 people, two boys two girls, at his house for his 10th birthday party and how he felt obliged to entertain them and felt so bad because his family was living in a small apartment and he didnt feel he could adequately entertain these kids.

David was talking about how he plans on moving to the residence where i work. i hope he does.

Anyway, Albany was something else. don’t think i’ll be going back next year tho, it’s gotten too commercial.

hey am I the only one who knew nothing of Oso’s plan to up and leave and move to Mexico?? boy was i surprised to find out he was gone. just like that. no warning (or maybe there was, i should probably read this blog every once in a while). I’m pretty sure the law is after him. anyway, good luck to him and his new mexican life. just remember: don’t drink the water don’t breathe the air.

PLUG: And for those of you (none) in the NYC area, Via Violenta will be playing on Mar. 18th at Arlene’s Grocery in the LES. if you need more info just email me. leeches!!

From the news:
The major source of potentially climate-changing soot in the air over south Asia is home cooking fires, according to a team of Indian and American researchers.

The burning of wood, agricultural waste and animal manure for cooking is the largest source of black carbon in the air in that region, according to the team led by C. Venkataraman of the Indian Institute of Technology Bombay.

ouch. animal manure?? crazy darkies! luckily Indian’s can’t be relied on for anything, especially when it comes to science and research. so keep on cooking and eating those dung-smoked samosas….savages.

FYI: you know those insightful shows on VH1 like “I love the 00’s” and “Remember Last Week?” the ones where they have the guys from awful tv shows make fun of music and movies they were never in? i bet you think “man those guys are real witty, how do they come up with these comments like that?” Well for those of you stupid enough to wonder this, i will tell you. the producers send the comedians the topics a week or two beforehand, and then when theyre being filmed they’re asked a setup question and then a follow-up setup question. so next time you think Downton Julie Brown has got a great knack for comedic wit, think again.

Is it a coincedence that of all the recent Presidents of the United States, the one whose administration opposes the theory of evolution the most is the one who most looks like a monkey? i’m serious, have you seen this guys face? this guys got more monkey in him than Davey Jones!