Last week when I wrote that music is one of the most important things in my life, Cindy wrote me an email saying, if that’s true, it’s a little peculiar that I never write about it. (Every one of her posts says what she is listening to while she writes it) She’s right … I do rarely write about music and how big a part of my life it is. For one, it’s always kinda felt like that is Moreno’s department. But there’s a deeper reason too.

I’m reading this book right now, The God Gene, by Dean Hamer. Cheesy title, good read. In it he says there is a consensus amongst neuroscientists that there are two distinct types of consciousness in the brain. The first is called "core" or "primary" consciousness and is responsible for our awareness of senses. Things we see or smell or feel or even intuit. Most animals have this and some are even more developed than humans (like sharks’ famous sense of smell). Supposedly, "the part of the brain responsible for primary consciousness … is the cortex and the thalamus."

The second is "secondary" or "higher" consciousness which is probably unique to humans, or at the most inclusive, limited to higher primates. This is self-awareness, analysis, evaluation, and reflection. This sort of consciousness is related to activity in the posterior parietal lobes. So, at one point in the book, Hamer explains how there have been these studies of Buddhist monks in deep meditation and what the brain scans show is that as they go deeper and deeper into meditation, less and less brain activity is detected in the higher consciousness areas and more and more is detected in the core consciousness areas. Which is why meditation brings about these feelings of selflessness and deep sensory perception.

Those of you who have done drugs at a concert or have even had a few drinks at a bar with a live band can relate. Each musical note affects you more. Perhaps you distinguish a bass line in a song that you had never heard before. And you start losing your strong sense of self, of identity, and feel more connected with those around you and maybe even the entire world.

I will admit that, for better or worse, I probably spend more of my brain juice on "secondary consciousness" than "primary consciousness." I could be at a bar with my friends and they are happily dancing to the music (rhythm also triggers primary consciousness) while I’m looking around and observing and reflecting on the various conversations and gestures and ironies of the night. In fact, as much as I try, it’s almost impossible for me to snap out of secondary consciousness and allow myself to simply sense. "To be."

So that my friends is why music is so incredibly important to me. It’s one of three things (rock climbing and sex being the others) that completely shuts out the thinking, the analysis, and reflection and self-awareness. It’s seriously my meditation. Maybe some people light some incense, close their eyes, and picture a flame. Not me, I put on my headphones, close my eyes, go under the covers and let each note, each instrument, each drum beat penetrate me. Which, for one thing, is why I like instrumental music so much and, for another, why I so rarely write about music.

That’s not to say it’s always such an intensely personal, meditative experience. I like rocking out in the car with my homies just like anybody else. And I’m a sucker for good lyrics (Dylan will forever be one of my favorites). But whatever … regardless … today I break the rules and I tell you why I love each of these songs. So, here are the songs to download individually if you want to give them a listen. If you sent me your address or if I had it already, then a CD should be arriving in the mail within the next week. If not, you can download each song (right click where it says download and "save target as" or "save link as") in the same folder and then download this playlist file and just double click on the playlist and then burn a CD. You can also see an iTunes visualization of the playlist here.

Track	Track Title	Group	Album	Length	Download
1	The Young Machines	Her Space Holiday	The Young Machines	4:25	Download
2	Japanese Gum	Her Space Holiday	The Young Machines	3:48	Download

For the past four years - at least - I have been trying to get my sister to stop listening to princess pop punk and start listening to quality music. Last year it finally worked and she began religiously listening to Modest Mouse, Ryan Adams, Ani Difranco, The Beatles, and The Rolling Stones. Then, this year, just a few months ago, she recommends an album to me. This was revolutionary. The first time ever. So, I listened with skeptical ears … yes, it was poppy, over-produced, and clearly the choice of a teenage girl. But then I couldn’t stop listening to it and quickly The Young Machines by Her Space Holiday became one of my favorite albums of the year. The first track, the title track of the album, I love because it brings me back to a sunny, crisp morning in a small rural village in central Bali with Abogado and Bobby this past June. Andres had brought us here to observe an annual ritual amongst a few central Balinese villages where all the village men and boys get together shirtless, drink up some Arak (rice wine), and beat the hell out of each other with thorned palm leaves. Before the initiation ritual gets going though, three elders up on the stage play traditional Gamelan music to get the blood flowing. You can totally feel the anticipation and the nervous energy as each of the young boys at first and then young men and then grown men select their batons of thorned palm leaves to draw the blood of their temporary enemies. (You can see a video of the preparation music here) That same music echoes in the background of the first track. Also, anyone with an iPod should recognize the noise of the very first second of the song.

I put Japanese Gum on the mix as well ’cause I think it’s one of the catchier, lyrical songs of the album. Probably the one that would make it on the radio. My thoughts on sex have fluctuated a lot throughout the years, but I definitely can remember having the thought that there is no more "real" way of experiencing someone else and giving away yourself than by making love. I think this song captures that idea nicely.

3

One Chance

Modest Mouse

Good News For People Who Love Bad News

3:05

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One Chance is the first song I knew would make this mix. I could probably write pages about it, but I’ll try to spare you. First of all, the guitar riff is sick. Must learn. Then there’s the lyrics. To me, this song is the musical, lyrical equivalent of my second favorite novel by my favorite author. The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera is a story of four people, two couples, and the choices we all must make. It’s the choice between weight and lightness. Spontaneity and responsibility. Exploration and a sense of place. Staying in love versus continually falling in and out of love. The novel doesn’t answer any questions, which is probably what I love most about it, but it does an amazing job pointing out the differences between the two lifestyles.

Up until this year I was sure I was destined for a life of lightness. Constant, spontaneous traveling and exploration. Drifting in and drifting out of relationships. Complete irresponsibility and carefreeness. As the song says, I was one of those "ships off sailing just heading back out again and going off sinking." But then I found myself accepting the responsibility of taking care of my little sister. And not only did I fall in love, which I do very easily, but for the first time I was staying in love and I was afraid of losing someone. I started to grow and develop roots with my community that meant a great deal to me.

I shouldd point out that this unbearable lightness of being which Kundera speaks of, comes from the realization that there is absolutely no way for us to know if we made the right decision or not. Which gives us a freedom from guilt and weight because there is no way to know what would have become of our "coulda-been life." We either become one of those wandering, carefree and lonely boats off sailing or we get married, buy a house, and have kids. But either way we will wonder what might have been and we will probably romanticize it or justify the decision we did make. That is what I hear in One Chance.

We have one chance
One chance
To get everything right
We have one chance
One chance
And if we’re lucky we might
My friends, my habits, my family
They mean so much to me
I just don’t think that it’s right
I’ve seen so many ships sailing
Just to head back out again
And go off sinking

4

Calaveras y Diablitos

Los Fabulosos Cadillacs

Fabulosos Calavera

4:24

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This past January as Laura and I drove through Mexico in my beloved, deceased White Saturn SL1, we each brought our own music. We often have the same taste in music, but we also often do not. I was sure that I had won. While she brought a stack of about 10 pirated CD’s of Ska from the Torreon market, I was armed with my 30 gigabyte iPod which I spent the entire week before leaving San Diego filling up with music and organizing. I had about 20 playlists set up for our journey all with just enough music I knew she would like to keep her from wanting to change it. But then disaster happened. On a sad, lonely night in Austin, Texas I managed to delete my entire library of music (much of which I didn’t have backed up) when I installed the software to use my voice memo recorder. Shortly thereafter, I made this voice memo, my first one.

I was devastated. Not only had a week’s worth of copying, downloading, and organizing music gone to waste, but I would have to listen to Laura’s shit over and over during the six weeks we were about to spend traveling throughout Mexico.

Now of course, much of that shit music is some of my favorite, including this song by an Argentinean ska/reggae band, Los Fabulosos Cadillacs.

5

Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)

The Arcade Fire

Funeral

4:48

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To be completely honest, it took me a while to get into this CD. Everyone had been telling me how cool it was. From New York Times Magazine to NPR to our very own Moreno. So I kept listening and wondering what the hell was wrong with me. Then, after about 10 or 15 tries I gave up and stopped listening to it. And that’s just when I started to miss it. I have to be in the right mood, but when I am, this entire album is a piece of cherry pie. It was a tough choice between Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels) and Haiti, but there is something about this song that gets my imagination going. I picture a booming city - Brooklyn maybe or Santiago, Chile - but the whole scene is in sepia and there’s the sad, lackluster vibe. But then these psychedelic colored tunnels start wrapping their way through the city, navigating through the old brick buildings and newer glass and cement skyscrapers and they connect all the windows throughout the city. Lovers float in these tunnels to each other and meet and make sweet love and the sepia colored city gets painted in vibrant colors of fertile juices.

Damn, those flashbacks. But seriously, in such a lonely and atomized society as ours, sometimes all we’re looking for is a secret tunnel from our bedroom to the heart of that one special person, rest of the world be damned.

6

Piste 2

Gorillaz

Remixes and B-sides

3:41

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I have nothing to say about this track other than the fact that it makes me happy.

7

The Pain

Murs

Murs 3:16 The 9th Edition

4:04

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This year’s mix has a very noticeable shortage of hip-hop. Compared to the last, I just haven’t come across as much quality hip-hop this year. Or maybe I wasn’t looking as hard. This song I love though - can relate to every verse. Props to Revaz for introducing me to it. "I’m more Coldplay than I am Ice T." Classic.

8

Pupilas Lejenas

Los Pericos

Mystic Love

3:55

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Yet another example of Laura’s more mature taste in music than my own. I’m glad I finally caught up. Los Pericos are another reggae/ska band from Argentina.

9

Monica

Tortoise

Standards

6:30

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I have a feeling that this will be the first track most of you will start skipping over. Not me. I can’t get enough of it. And I desperately want to know why it’s titled Monica. This song brings me back to junior high when Abogado and I were going to a small private school in Anaheim. I had recently moved from Dublin, Ohio and I was still getting used to the transitions from soccer to basketball, from building tree-houses to going to the mall, and from White Snake to Tupac. I was determined to become a true Southern Californian though and every afternoon I would listen to 92.3, The Beat with Theo at the DJ’s controls. I simply don’t understand how Theo hasn’t become an international celebrity on par with Madonna and Michael Jackson. For months I was fooled into thinking Theo was six foot six, 250 pounds of pure muscle, and black as coal. Then I found out he’s a small, pudgy Japanese American. To this day, absolutely nothing can surprise me … for nothing can top the surprise of finding out that Theo looks more like Mr. Miyagi than Mr. T. (if anyone can find a picture of Theo on the net, please email me)

Like I said, you’ll skip over it, I’ll reminisce.

10

Women Lose Weight

Morcheeba (ft. Slick Rick)

Charango

4:17

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I can’t wait for the comments on my machista insensitivity for including this one. First of all, Slick Rick is hip hop’s greatest storyteller. Second of all, Morcheeba is my favorite trip-hop group. Thirdly, I am god damned fed up with girls asking me if they look fat. It’s an impossible question. There is no right answer. Should I lose weight? Again, no right answer. I have been asked these two questions at least 100 different times by at least 50 different women this year. From now on, a warning to all, my answer will be automatic. It does not matter if you are my girlfriend, a family member, a friend, an enemy. Nor does it matter to me if you are the size of the Good Year blimp or anorexic like an Olson twin. My answer will be this: "You are fat and you need to lose weight."

I mean, do whatever the hell you want. Yes I understand that losing weight is easier for some and more difficult for others and I understand that we each have our own distortions of our body image, but really, what the hell do you want me to say about it?

I love this song.

11

The Beggar

Mos Def

The New Danger

5:19

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I’ve been a big fan of Mos Def since Black on Both Sides. Ironically it is probably him and Eminem who are the two most expressive, articulate musicians in hip hop right now. They both do an amazing job of getting into a character when writing a song. The Beggar is an archetypical character whose psychotic desperation has managed its way into all genres of literature. I also think it’s dope how he lays this track over such a syncopated jazz drum beat.

12

Higher Than I Thought

Via Violenta

Demo

5:00

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This song is on here because Moreno said he’d give me back my diabetes medication if I included it. (please hombre, I’ll pay for the Fed Ex) That cheeky monkey will probably tell you this song is metaphorical - well, don’t believe him. This is a song about mountain climbing, straight up, and that’s the only reason I give a damn about it. Because us Himalayan mountaineers deserve a little appreciation and up till now, Cat Stevens’ Katmandu was the closest we got to it.

In December of 1999, after 20 days of trekking at least 15 miles a day from the green jungle of Sukoli to glacial blue lakes above Mt. Everest base camp, Justin Henkel and I left our study abroad group of 8 fellow students to climb Imja Tse, A.K.A. Island Peak. I had done some mountaineering in the Pacific Northwest, Canada, and Southern Alaska, but this was the first big time. We had been preparing the past two months in Katmandu while we were supposed to be studying. We found a guide, bought or rented the equipment, and read everything we could get our hands on.

Then came the day and it was pure disaster. We woke up at 3 a.m., made some guaranteed to make you shit fire spicy noodles, and then started upwards under the moonlight in minus 30 degree weather. Our water was in these aluminum mini-tanks which supposedly never fail to keep the water as liquid H20. Not at minus 30 in the shadow of Mt. Everest though. By mid-day we were making good time and we set up a belay at the ice ramp - the supposed "crux" of the entire climb. We were well above 20,000 feet and there is so little atmosphere way up there that the sky is pitch black. The world becomes a complete contrast of black sky and white ice.

I was dying for water, starting to feel my brain’s starvation of oxygen at such a high altitude, and I wasn’t sure if we were going to make it. I stuck my freezing water bottle in my armpit to try and thaw it out, but still no luck. Coming back down and I started to hallucinate. It became very apparent very quickly that this was gonna be a serious struggle just to survive. I remember seeing myself walking in front of me. I don’t remember making it back to base camp, but I do remember Justin waking me up the next morning, feeding me sure to make you shit fire noodles, and telling me I looked like shit. Then he took this picture of me. Listening to Moreno’s song Higher Than I Thought brings me back to this longest, most terrible day of my life. Thanks a lot asshole.

13

Hormigas

Album

Eureka Sön

2:03

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Reasons to love this track: the entire album, by a band named Album, is off the hook. I found this album my reading a blog from Mexico. All songs on this album and all other albums by album are available to download for free. This is the future of music. For more information check out Downhill Battle. I will happily pay to watch Album the next time they come anywhere near me.

14

Don’t Be Afraid, Your Eyes …

Mum

Finally we are No One

5:43

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This entire album makes me feel like I am in living in Candyland. That is a good thing. Why does so much good music come from Iceland?

13

Shine

Daniel Lanois

Shine

3:30

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The reason I think my girlfriend is the most beautiful woman in the world is not because she looks like a model. It’s because she shines. Wherever she goes, whatever room she walks into, automatically lights up with her energy. And during those rare times when everything else seems to be going horribly wrong, it’s that shine which keeps me going.

Daniel Lanois has produced everyone from U2 to Willie Nelson, but it’s his own three albums which are my favorites of his work. He was born French-Canadian (many of his songs are in French) and calls Echo Park his home. But for Shine he traveled to Mexico for half a year and says that experience is represented in every track. The sound is far away from mariachi, but I can completely hear the influence.

16

Blue Skies

Tom Waits

Best of the Early Years

2:13

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As if this album wasn’t mellow enough, now it’s time to really bring it down a notch. This has been my discovery year with Tom Waits. I had heard his stuff throughout the past few years - friends and co-workers would have me listen to this song and that - but it wasn’t until this year that I started stealing as much as I could from the internet and began to understand why he has such a reputation. As it goes, much of his early stuff is some of my favorite. You really hear the country influence. Tom Waits is from San Diego and this song reminds me of San Diego … which will always and forever have a bit of my freckled heart.

17

Big Country

Bela Fleck

Left of Cool

5:31

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There are those who sometimes describe me as a hippie. While it’s been years since I’ve pulled out the Birkenstocks, I will admit, there is a part of me which will forever be drawn to hugging trees and eating veggie burritos. I have gone to my Phish shows, I have downloaded hundreds of bootlegs from various jam bands, and I know how to play most of the earlier Dave Matthews songs just like every other White American male who was in college at the turn of the millennium. I realize that today, in our time of electronified garage rock, this entire scene and the music that fueled it is considered absolutely left of cool. Which is why I love this song. This is one of the ones I can’t describe with words. This is the one that I turn on while careening down the Interstate on an overcast day and I lose all consciousness of the very concept of time or place or self. Each pluck of the banjo, the cheesy electric fretless bass, the DMB-like saxophone. It all goes to that part of the body which people have called the soul for centuries and which anatomists can never find. And when it’s over … when it’s over, some form of reality comes back to me and things are looking up.

If you are reading this on New Year’s Eve, go get out there … Carpe Noctem, seize the night.

If it’s New Year’s Day, take it easy, drink some water, and let’s make 2005 more incredible than any year we’ve ever had.

I would like to wish Moreno and his girl, Priya, a very happy anniversary. And I would like to thank Charity for giving me a bottle of wine for Christmas. I would have never been able to finish this post without it.

One last thing - if you have anything to say about any of these songs or anything else in the world, please jot it down as a comment. Am I the only one with such strange taste in music?