I hope that everyone had a good Thanksgiving. I’m a notorious grinch when it comes to any holiday, but I’ve gotta admit, it was a relaxing couple of days at my grandparents’ house in Palm Desert. Good food, lots of food, sleeping in, warm conversations with warm mugs of coffee and tea. And of course, laid up on the couch with a good book.

Friday night, still digesting the previous night’s three slices of pumpkin pie and Friday’s turkey sandwiches, my sister and I saw I %u2665 Huckabees while Grandma and Gramps saw Ray. After Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, it is probably my favorite movie of 2004.

The beauty of the movie is how simply it conveys ideas otherwise nearly impossible to describe even with fancy philosophical jargon. If I had to sum it up I’d call it an existential hybridization of communal, universal structuralism and rational nihilism. And I’m not sure I even know what the hell that means. Walking out of the theater with my 15 year old sister (who loved it) I heard a bunch of insecure fathers and boyfriends asking their companions if they have read anything by Nietzche, Kierkegaard, or Sartre. I was even tempted to do the same. For a second, the thought - almost an instinct - came to me to try and tie in the themes of the movie with more “academic” philosophical concepts. You know, a “learning experience.”

Then I was horrified at my own retardation. Why try to intellectualize what was already said better than Kirkegaard or Sartre ever could with all their fancy concepts? Instead, waiting for Ray to finish, we walked through the soulless mall parking lot into the soulless Starbucks and we joked with the baristas about their special xmas uniforms and we wrapped our hands around our warm christmas decorated cups of coffee and everything was ok.

We joked about the desert folk passing by. We talked about the characters from the movie. I haven’t related to characters as well as I related to Albert Markovski and Tommy Corn in a long time. That feeling of estrangement for hopelessly trying to do what is “right” and yet not even truly believing in right and wrong. The opposing and coexisting feelings of rational detachement and impulsive desire to fuck in the mud. And finally, the back and forth between total meaninglessness and complete connectedness.

No, I %u2665 Huckabees does not really answer any questions, but then again, neither does Existentialism. It does, though, help you realize how to deal.

How am I not myself?