1949 Long Island, New York, John Cummings was born.

1980 Orange County, California Hari Balachandran was born.

1974 Cummings changes his surname and becomes known as Johnny Ramone.

2004 Balachandran changes his name to El Moreno

1974 The Ramones form in Forest Hills N.Y. and take residence at CBGB, "a scruffy club in lower Manhattan."

Moreno’s band just played CBGB a coupla weeks ago.

Johnny Ramone becomes known as "the guitarist whose bursts of primitive punk energy helped the Ramones go from an obscure New York band to a reshaping force in rock ‘n’ roll."

Moreno is always telling Drummer Dave: "Dave, seriously, let’s keep the tempo down."

1976 TheRamone’s self-titled album is “recorded for less than $7,000 … with 14 almost cartoonish songs that they raced through in less than 30 minutes.”

Moreno stole a software program called Cool Edit 2.0 from a P2P network and released his songs in mp3 format for anyone who has good taste to download for free. It cost him less than … I forget how much he paid for his mic.

Johnny Ramone was a former construction worker, an outspoken Republican, and supporter of the NRA. At his induction to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame he said, "God bless President Bush and God bless America.

El Moreno was a former employee for a refrigerated trucking company, an outspoken cynic, and supporter of whatever he gets for free. He has not yet been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but promises when he does he will say, “Viva la revolucion and God bless El Oso.”

Today God, upset with Ramone for telling him/her/it/whatever to bless George Bush, fucks with Ramone’s prostate and kills him.

Moreno meanwhile misquoted Gandhi and has been busy dry heaving ever since.

Lesson to be learned: Tell God who to bless and/or support the NRA and he’ll fuck up your prostate. Misquote Gandhi and you’ll be yacking for the next two weeks.