Yes, yes it’s true. To the dismay of Moreno and Oso, Abogado has decided to make an appearance and dispel all the vicous rumors once and for all. After months of contractual disputes, public relations disasters and some serious begging on the part of El Oso, I am at last making my presence known.

First off I want to send a shout-out to the homies in Rikers, as well as the ballers holding it down in La Jolla. Now, with the formalities out of the way the fun can begin.

Seeing as I am nowhere near as hip as Moreno, nor as bitingly witty and observant as Osito, I will be relegated to discussing the topics with which I am thoroughly accustomed. Namely, the various pro’s and con’s of the few bars that I can remember frequenting in my last hometown and the pro’s and con’s of the bars that I will never see in my new one. That’s because I am now officially a 1L. If that means nothing to you then count yourself among the lucky ones never to have set foot in a Socratic classroom. The odds are, you will never be hearing from me again as my classes begin tomorrow, but I am hoping that by mentioning my dire situation contracts outlines and torts briefs will flow to me like Natty Ice at a Santa Barbara frat party.

With the first week of orientation fading, so go the pleasantries of introductions and greetings here in 1L land. You can almost watch as your fellow classmates, so friendly and welcoming during the week, erect their defences and secure their alliances. The slow march of panic has begun and it will not reach an apex until December when the dams will break and a flood of anxiety will pour through our hallways and seep into every crevice of the building until I am drowning in a sea of stress, reaching, grasping for a life line only to have another wave come and finish me off.

That, or it will be all good, but what fun would that be?