So I just got done reading two very interesting and differing books about international current events. First was Michael Moore’s Dude, Where’s my Country which predictably enough was among other things, a stinging critique of Bush’s foreign and domestic policy. (The other is Samuel Huntington’s The Clash of Civilizations which I will be reviewing soon) Moore is making a lot of waves back home right now with the release of Fahrenheit 9/11 and its huge success at the box office. Thank god. It’s about time this country woke up and started listening to a different viewpoint than Bill O’ Riley, Michael Savage, conservative talk radio, and Fox News.

But like many of my friends who stay informed, listen to the full spectrum of opinion, vote on issues and try to avoid overreaching labels, I have some major qualms with what Moore purports and how he does it. I still haven’t seen Fahrenheit 9/11 so I can’t be sure, but from what I have read in the papers it sounds like most of its arguments are taken straight from Dude, Where’s my Country so let’s go through them together and take a look at Moore’s arguments.

Chapter 1, “7 Questions for George of Arabia” is just that: Moore asking (or telling) Bush 7 questions about his links with the Saudi Royal Family. No new information here and from what I’ve read, it’s chronicled much more intelligently in House of Bush, House of Saud, but I commend Moore for reminding the public of ties that have not received sufficient attention in the major media.

Moore relies on a lot of speculation. At one point, citing a single interview on Hardball Moore claims that Bin Laden is hardly mobile and therefore couldn’t have pulled off September 11th. Instead he states (characteristically in the form of a question), “So, did certain factions within the Saudi royal family execute the attack on September 11 th?” Of Bin Laden Moore contemplates:

“How could a guy sitting in a cave in Afghanistan, hooked up to dialysis, have directed and overseen the actions of nineteen terrorists for two years in the United States and then plotted so perfectly the hijacking of four planes and then guaranteed that three of them would end up precisely on their targets? How did Osama do this? I mean, I can’t get the computer to stop crashing when I type the word “gingivitis.” I can’t get cell signal from here to Queens! And he’s supposed to have pulled off all of September 11 th from his little cave, 10,000 miles away? What was he doing then, when we started bombing over there? Was he running cave to cave in Afghanistan with his tubes and dialysis machine trailing behind him? Or, um, maybe there was a dialysis machine in every third cave in Afghanistan. Yeah, that’s it! A real modern country, Afghanistan! It has about fifteen miles of railroad track. And lots of dialysis machines, I guess.”

Entertaining, yes, but such conspiracy theories only discredit Moore and some of his best points that come later in the book. There are plenty of well founded, well documented reasons to remove Bush and company. Speculation and loose connections – though they should be followed up on by journalists – are not among them.

Chapter two, “Home of the Whopper,” reminds us how the Whitehouse has lied to the public about CIA and British Intelligence, about Iraq’s supposed nuclear arms or nuclear arms programs, about supposed ties between Iraq and Al-Qaeda, and about media bias during the war.

Again, more good reminders from Moore, but I assume that 99% of those who bought his book were well aware of them all. I did learn one thing in the chapter: Le Journal broadcasts with English subtitles for “an American audience too lazy and poorly educated to have learned another language.” I wish I had known that before and knew where to tune in.

Chapter 3 is filled with Moore being interviewed decades in the future by his great-granddaughter after all the oil has disappeared. The reader learns absolutely nothing in this chapter, but Moore speculates that hydrogen fuel cells will never work. Here’s his scientific judgement:

“We spent so much money on our military to make sure we had access to oil that our schools were falling apart, making everyone grow up dumb and dumber – and therefore no one realized that hydrogen was not even a fuel at all!

I’d like to see Moore light a match near a hydrogen balloon.

Chapter 4, “The United States of BOO,” talks about the government’s and media’s use of fear to keep the citizenry scared enough to sacrifice civil liberties and support military operations abroad. Nothing new here; straight out of Orwell’s 1984 and Chomsky’s Manufacturing Consent. Every power hungry hawk needs his enemy. Hitler had the Jews, Nixon the Commies, and Bush has the abstract threat of terrorism, the word of the new millenium.

Chapter 5 was the most intriguing of the entire book for me. As it starts out, “Welcome to Mike’s Quick and Easy Guide to Preventing Future Terrorist Attacks.” That has been the challenge of every security and defense policy maker throughout the world. Everything from massive aid campaigns to all out warfare to calls for a universal American Empire have been offered as strategies for a terrorist-free future. The question is, how do you deal with fundamentalists? I mean, Islamic militants are not only attacking Western civilization and consumerist culture, but also respected Muslim clerics trying to modernize Islam.

So, what does Moore say? He is of the “ending poverty, ends terrorism” camp. Here’s a passage:

“But the new rich are not content to settle for mere wealth - they have an insatiable desire to make as much as is inhumanly possible. Enough is never enough for them. This gluttony will result in more of us losing our lives to angry terrorists from the Third World. Let’s make the fat cats share their wealth with those who make their products for them overseas. It’s a good way to keep the rest of us safe.

Now, when it comes to the redistribution of wealth worldwide, there is no doubt that I would be considered a Socialist. I think a global 3% tax should be collected from the top 500 highest grossing multi-national companies and put into a UN development fund. I also think there should be a 1% GNP tax to fund the United Nations. And American taxes should be much morel like our European counterparts.

But Moore’s thesis is a completely different argument. He claims poverty evokes terrorism. That is something I have long been curious about. I would really like to read the biographies of each of the 19 terrorists involved in the 9/11 attacks as well as the biographies of the Palestinian and Chechnyan suicide bombers. My hunch is that like most Leftist Revolutionaries, these are not impoverished people.

In the previous chapter Moore contradicts himself:

I’ve always thought it was interesting that the mass murder of September 11 was allegedly committed by a multi-millionaire. We always say it was committed by a “terrorist” or by an “Islamic fundamentlist” or an “Arab,” but we never define Osama by his rightful title: multi-millionaire. Why have we never read a headline saying, “3,000 Killed by Multi-Millionaire”? It would be a correct headline, would it not? No part of it is untrue - Osama bin Laden has assets totaling at least $30 million; he is a multi-millionaire. So why isn’t that the way we see this person, as a rich fuck who kills people? Why didn’t that become the reason for profiling potential terrorists? Instead of rounding up suspicious Arabs, why don’t we say, “Oh my God, a multi-millionaire killed 3,000 people! Round up the multi-millionaires! Throw them all in Jail! No charges! No trials! Deport the millionaires!”

So clearly Osama’s not pissed off about his credit card debt. As much as I’d like to see better aid and development programs throughout the world, I just can’t agree with Moore that 21st century terrorism is some sort of extension of the class war. I wish it was, but I think these guys are more pissed off about Western (im)morality, consumerism, and culture. Nobody wants to say it, but this is a religious war and reconciliation will need to be more sophisticated than development and economic opportunity.

Chapter 6 is written by “God” telling us that church and state should be kept very separate. I don’t think that Al-qaeda, Jemaah Islamiyah, or MILF would agree. The separation of church and state is clearly a Western notion and did not spread world wide until the colonial era. To say that the separation of church and state comes straight from God’s mouth - as Moore does - is about as ethnocentric as one could get.

At Chapter 7 the book leaves Iraq and begins to take up the standard liberal battle cries as to why we should remove Bush and company. The chapter is entitled Horatio Alger Must Die, after the late 19 th century American writer whose stories always had hard working rags to riches protagonists. Moore says that the Horatio Alger myth – that if you are poor and work hard enough you will become rich – pervades deep in the American psyche and is responsible for our conservative policies.

It’s an interesting argument, but I have a tough time believing that working class Americans view Kenneth Lay with sympathy because they truly think they might be in his shoes 20 years down the road. I would argue that the populous at large is actually fascinated by the super-rich and treats them with the same reverence as 19 th century Europe did their princes and queens. Just look at the scores of biographies on Bill Gates or how his name evokes omnipotent powers in the mainstream media. The same could be said of Allen Greenspan or any of Forbes’ list of the 100 wealthiest men in the world. Such a reverential attitude towards the rich was Ross Perot’s only shot in the ’92 elections. Why else would a tiny, relatively poor slice of an island allow its sultan to spend nearly $800,000 every single day for the past seven years? Because they too want a representative in the global celebrity ring of the ridiculously wealthy.

Moore is right – it’s high time that we bridge the gap between the richest 5% and the rest of the world. But it needs to be done democratically. It has been shown time and time again that authoritarian approaches towards the redistribution of wealth are too much of a risk to human rights. I would rather have inequality a thousand times more than the atrocities of Stalin’s Gulags or even the lack of free speech, opportunity, and privacy in Cuba today.

So until democratic countries begin to vote in Socialism (as happened in Chile in 1972 and with promising recent elections in Brazil and India), we are frankly not ready for it.

Chapter 8 – against the tax cuts for the rich. Aren’t we all?

Chapter 9 – A Liberal Paradise. Here is when Michael Moore – hardly convincing himself – tells us that the United States of America is a “land of liberal-left, peacenik tree-huggers” and goes on to cite confusing, seemingly irrelevant, and probably poorly administered surveys (“41 percent of the citizens have admitted to using illegal drugs”) as proof that we are all liberals.

Moore is clearly surrounded by his own peoples. As am I; which is why I am so blown away every time I read our conservative local paper or happen to catch a bit of Fox News or our old mayor on talk radio. The fact is, America is a divided country; it always has been. Just look at the bestselling list for non-fiction: almost completely divided down the line between liberal and conservative.

This is where Michael Moore is most vulnerable to criticism: he preaches to his own fans. How many republicans bought this book? And I can guarantee you that if they did, it was only to remind themselves what a bunch of ranting, lazy idiots liberals are. Only those disinterested in politics or the extreme swing-voters will be affected by Moore’s arguments and only when they are dressed in enough good humor at the movie theater. America has liberal pockets – Santa Monica, San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, and Cambridge. But the great majority of the nation is conservative. Trying to convince ourselves otherwise is only self-deception.

A side note: Moore does bring up a good observation in this chapter though. Why are liberals so witty and conservatives so angry?

Moore knows that he is writing to his own supporters (curiously, he also assumes his readers are men). Which is why the Chapter 10 is entitled, How to Talk to Your Conservative Brother-in-Law. And, honestly, it’s not such a bad guide. Stereotypically, conservatives are selfish, responsible, and self-sufficient. They’d never give a handout, but they don’t expect one either. There’s nothing wrong with that, it is a personal decision, and in fact, Ayn Rand makes a damn good argument for the virtues of selfishness. So it is important keeping this in mind when trying to convince conservatives that Bush is not their man. “Giving tax breaks to the rich isn’t fair!” won’t mean anything to them. Damaging the economy, hurting investor confidence, and putting our young soldiers at risk might.

No matter how many small problems I have with Dude, Where’s my Country, Paul Krugman is right in his Op-Ed piece review: Moore’s exaggerations and factual misrepresentations in no way compare to the flat out lies and false accusations put forth by the Bush administration.

Which is why Chapter 11, Bush Removal and Other Spring Cleaning Chores, is the book’s most important. After a nonsensical ramble of nominating Oprah Winfrey, Martin Sheen, Paul Newman, and the Dixie Chicks for president, it offers us 10 things we can do for regime change. I’ll re-print them here:

• Talk to anyone and everyone. And do it intelligently, I would add, otherwise you’re just bound to alienate republicans without offering them a broader viewpoint. That is what I will try to do here on this blog without preaching. And I hope that readers start to interact with more comments.
• Join Kerry’s campaign. I’d like to, maybe I will, I hope I will, but I probably won’t.
• Download a poster, buy a bumpersticker. If I had a car I would.
• Run for precinct delegate. Not this year, not for me.
• Run for local office. Not this year, not for me.
• Buy a few copies of the following books and give them to your conservative brother-in-law: The Best Democracy Money Can Buy, Perpetual War for Perpetual Peace, Bushwhacked!, Thieves in High Places, The Great Unraveling, Lies and Lying Liars Who Tell Them. I disagree with Moore here. I’d say it would be more productive to read their conservative counterparts to show your “conservative brother-in-law” that you have taken the time to look at both perspectives and to improve your arguments.
• Give up four Saturdays in October to work for the Kerry campaign.
• Travel to a congressional district of swing voters.
• Take a non-voter to lunch and go vote with them. I like this idea. I know so many people who talk liberal, but when it comes to voting they just don’t get out there. In fact, I missed the primaries this year.
• I voted party. This is my favorite idea and I really wanna pull it off this year. I’m gonna try and start organizing it in October with the PB guys. Here’s the deal, you have a big party on voting day with lots of free beer, free food, and maybe even a raffle or wet t-shirt contest or whatever makes those who normally wouldn’t vote, vote. And only those with “I voted” stickers or ballot receipts can enter. I’m making this happen and anyone who would like to help, please let me know.

So there it is, my lengthy review of Dude, Where’s My Country. I was just talking to my homie Revaz about how I wanna get more involved in this year’s election. It’s an avalanche process; if Americans see their countrymen going out in strong numbers in support of Kerry they’ll start to support him as well. Let’s do this.

Word.