Well I am back from my Oso-imposed hiatus, weak and dreary. Life here in Brooklyn is much the same as it was last time i posted. No job, no money. There is good news, however: we’ve purchased an air-conditioner! I know you are all excited as I am. For those of you out in California or other areas with Paradise-esque climate, let me explain: An air-conditioner is a little machine you put in your window sill that produces cool air to flow throughout your living unit. Using an air-conditioner (a/c) drastically reduces the temperature and makes it bearable to get out of bed without fainting from the overwhelming heat thrown upon you because God hates you (and how!) Anyway, its cool in here now. Now I can focus my energy to my first love: posting nonsense on this blog.

Anyone remember Admiral Stockdale? Ross Perot’s VP candidate in 1992? Anyone remember Ross Perot? 1992? Anyway, for those of you who remember, this guy was nuts. Well turns out he’s still nuts. I found this interview with him from 1999, and maybe its just my diet of pasta and roach eggs, but I can’t seem to understand a single point this man is making. You should all try, its kind of fun. I guess you can’t blame a man who spend 4 years in solitary confinement in Vietnam for being crazy. After all, its not like he was a high-ranking military official.

I celebrated my independence/Louis Armstrong’s fake birthday this weekend with my girl Priya. We sang songs to Satchmo and Lady Liberty all nite. It was just like my days back on the USO circuit.

There’s this great band thats got Brooklyn all a-buzz with buzz. They’re called Via Violenta and altho they havent got a website, manager, or even completed songs, we’re all betting they’ll be the next big thing. Keep your ears open while walking down the Wal-Mart aisles looking for gum and dog biscuits (whatever it is you people do), you just might hear them coming out of the Wal-Mart PA speakers.

Marlon Brando died. How come no one dragged his corpse back and forth across the country like they did for that other actor, Ron Reagan? I guess Reagan’s contribution to acting far surpass Brando’s performance in Apocalypse Now. Apparently he died of lung failure. He was once hospitalized for eating too much ice cream. He was my favorite. Vaya con dulces, Brando.

Speaking of great acting, have y’all seen the performance this guy John Edwards is giving? He actually looks like he’s happy to be a VP candidate instead of a Presidential one. He actually makes us believe that him and Kerry are the bestest of friends and go way back! Kudos to you, Edwards. You’re sure to make Inside The Actor’s Studio in the fall. James Lipton is stewing in his own juices.

So Kerry and Edwards are both named John? thats silly. I hope someone got fired for that one.

Reminds me of a Futurama episode where these Presidential candidates are debating in the year 3000, and theyre both named Bob Jones or something and they look exactly the same except that one is campaigning under the Republican banner, and one under the Demycrats. Its funnier and more relevant when you actually see it instead of reading it here.

I saw Farhenheit 9/11 when it came out last week. I’ve never wanted to shake my fist in the air so badly. I almost threw my empty 40 oz. bottle at the screen when that mangy Bush would show his face, but then I realized that wouldn’t help anyone in the theater. What we need are more people who can be convinced and persuaded by what is thrown at the movie screen, like in the 1940’s. FDR never would’ve been reelected had it not been for those brave mason jars and Mr. Clean containers hurled at the movie screens when showing Hitler invading Poland. This country’s going to hell. Buy War Bonds.