Posted 4 years, 4 months ago in the wee hours by oso
When shitting on a toilet without proper plumbing it is pertinent to shoot out a well formed log, something aerodynamic, an arrow already on its subterranean trajectory. Do not hesitate. Do not lose confidence and end up sputtering out – like a goat – a chain of ping pong balls of poo poo.
For those unaware, I should probably explain how to flush a toilet that does not flush. (as I did for a very anxious Bobby this morning – “dude, uh, how do you flush those things) So … there’s a toilet and a faucet, a bucket of water, a small trash can, and a roll of sand paper-like toilet paper you bought from the local market. These are your tools, do not abuse them, with proper utilization you will succeed.
Set up goes like this: fill the bucket of water to maximum capacity. Position the trash can by the toilet. Use two squares of TP to wipe the toilet seat unless you’ve developed the quads to hover. Now you are ready. Sit down while thinking ‘log, not balls’ ‘log, not balls.’
Toilet Paper goes in the trash can. Trust me. This could cost you your battle right there – by being so concerned with hiding your cinnamon stripes you could easily end up leaving the whole enchilada (or parts thereof, chicken strips let’s say) for all to see. Then, stand up, admire your deed, photograph it if you are in to such demented documentation<ratemyshit.com>, and pour the entire bucket of water into the toilet bowl. Don’t hesitate with curiosity, don’t think to yourself, ‘well, that’s probably a one liter shit’ or ‘Jesus, that’s a 2 liter at least’ – such games are only asking for trouble. With Old Testament faith you should pour as much water as you possibly can into the bowl and then …
Ah yes, success. A Buddha-like calm will transpire. Wipe your brow, proudly puff out your chess and march out of your dingy shit cave into the sunlight of paradise that is rural Thailand.
let’s talk more...
toilet bowl?! dude you are living in luxury. when i was in Thailand, i used one of those elongated “toilet” things. AND you had a bucket of water? dude, you are spoiled. these elongate “toilets” are pure torture. at least in the bush you don’t have to aim or be concerned about the person after you. and lets not even talk menstruation.
Intriguing… what exactly are these “elongated” toilets?
i dont know how to explain them. picture if you will, something the width of a paper towel holder but twice the length and at the end of it a big hole that goes into the ground. wouldn’t it make sense to just directly deposit your waste into the hole? Not with these things, you are supposed to do it in the tubular looking area and it is supposed to flow down into the hole, how exactly I am not sure there is not water and it is not always on a slope. and to squat over this, at least i am young and flexible like your average olympic gymnist, but what if I were old, and inflexible? i guess, then one could never ‘correctly’ deficate.
BTW Oso all women have developed the quads to hoover. The elongated toliet requires lower (near the ground) hoovering which is even hard, yeah baby I got quads.
Elena - I’m quite a hoverer myself. What’s your record time?
Woojay - I’ll try to put up a photo of the ceramic hole in the ground. These don’t exist in South Korea? Even in Tokyo’s Narita airport they have a good collection of squatters.
[...] It seems that I have started a small avalance of toilet themed posts with my recent post about shitting in Thailand. First Elena reflects and then Woojay adds his own insig [...]